Life is beautiful

This song is RAD!

2010-06-16T00:28:00.001-06:00

Oh, Grey's Anatomy...I love you.

2010-06-16T00:19:00.001-06:00

Okay, not to be a gay-wad, but Grey's Anatomy has facilitated the shedding of tears that my normal self will not allow. Thank you, Grey's Anatomy.

The first time I really became "aware" of Grey's Anatomy was when I worked for Inviscan, shortly after my separation from my ex-husband. The people I worked for watched Grey's Anatomy faithfully. I thought they were loony.

Turns out, I would be loony soon, too.

I finally found a moment to watch the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. Holy Crap, this in an intense one!!! Last year's Season Finale was intense, but this year seems to be even bigger. I watched the season finale last night, and I'm watching it again tonight. It still gets me, and I am grateful to know the moments to skip forward, because it is so freaking intense.

Now, I realize a TV show is NOT REAL. Even reality TV is a bunch of bull. But a TV show that can bring real life emotions to the surface is something special. And I have found that in Grey's Anatomy.

The season finale this year is something else. Seriously. Something else.

Ugh.

2010-06-14T23:38:00.003-06:00

How sad is it, that when I watch Grey's Anatomy, I want those lives. I want McDreamy. I want the conversations between best friends. I want bits and pieces of their lives.

How freaking sad is that?

Reflecting

2010-06-14T17:33:00.003-06:00

Father's Day is this coming Sunday.

I had a good talk with my dad on the phone last week. My parents live in Phoenix, and I have lived in Utah for 8 years now. I miss living close to home...close to all my nephews and nieces, siblings, and my mom and dad.

My dad will always say how he wasn't a good father when we were young. I know he sincerely feels some regret about working too much and spending too little time with us kids. I understand his perspective. And yet, I see my perspective as one of his kids. :)

I love and adore my dad. When I think of him, I don't have any judgments about the time he spent working vs. the time he spent with us at home. I do remember him being at work a lot, but I also remember spending time with him at work. He is an architect, so I remember using different programs at his work to create things. There was one program where we could create different colored lines and make elaborate designs. I loved doing that. When I was 10 or so, I remember learning how to drive while we waited for him to come out of the office. Most of the time, we were a one car family, so we would pile into our van to pick him up from work. I got some good driving lessons sitting on my mom's lap and steering the van. I really enjoyed that. When I was in high school, in my geography class, we had to design a home using floorplans and making a scaled model. My dad was extremely helpful with this project! He helped us use one of the programs at work to design the home, and it was so amazing that we had a party cutting out and creating the model. Easy, breazy. And our project kicked major a$$! I also remember going on camping trips with my dad and my sister. One time, we were tailgate camping, and I remember being utterly amazed at how smart my dad is when he boiled eggs on a campfire using paper cups. Every time I have hiked the Grand Canyon, my dad has been there...all six times. I also remember being completely heartbroken over a guy and sitting on the couch, my head on my dad's shoulder, as I cried over the broken relationship. He is a man of few words, typically, though he is a professional lecturer when it comes to his children. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that my dad loves me, and always has.

So, today I have been reflecting on my dad and the role he has played in my life. I am so grateful to have a father figure that has been present from day one, and who cares enough to vocalize his love and concern for me. I know he has a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and that is an ever-present reminder for me.

I love my dad. :)

Groupon

2010-04-15T15:44:00.003-06:00

Just wanted to let you know about Groupon Deal of the Day. It's a daily coupon that is emailed to you, or it is just available on their website. If you like the offer, you can buy the coupon. Earlier this week, there was a coupon for a month membership at a yoga studio, valued at $120, but only $40 that day. Today, it is $35 value of whatever you choose at Engh Gardens for only $15. Make sense?

Here's a link of how it works: Learn About Groupon

And, if you click on this link and decide to sign up, I get bonus $$ for referrals. You can do it too!!!!

Click here!

Good Effort:

2010-03-02T17:20:00.002-07:00

I decided to try to do "Pin-Up" makeup a couple weeks ago. Here's the result:

Not too shabby, I guess. I must say, I love my Mary Kay!

What if

2010-03-02T17:07:00.003-07:00

What would I say if I didn't give any thought to the readers of my blog?

I'd talk more about my personal struggles.

I'd openly discuss the things that my family members do that boggle my mind.

I would share humorous stories that the average person would find crass.

I would journal my spiritual growth, both forward and backward growth.

I would share experiences I've had that have taught me a lot, where most people would just read the story and place judgment on me rather than reading on to see what I learned and compare it to what they've learned.

I would post more fears, dreams, hopes, uncertainties, goals, and efforts.

The sugar-coating would be removed, and my bare heart would be left.

I don't think I could take that kind of vulnerability. So the sugar-coating will be used.

Sorry.

Need a Fresh Outlook?

2010-02-18T13:40:00.003-07:00

Take a shower.

That's what works for me when I'm lagging behind in the day.

"Everyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference."

- Nolan Bushnell

And for some inspiring reading, here's a Warrior of the Light article written by one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho. :)

Bullet-point

2010-02-16T22:50:00.004-07:00

When I put together a post on my blog, I typically have something specific to post. Tonight, I have far too many thoughts swimming around in my head, so I'll go ahead with a bullet-point of these thoughts.

I really love the music on Grey's Anatomy. I picked a couple of artists from the last episode and made a new Pandora station that is FABULOUS. And SUPER AWESOME. The main artist is The Xx.
I finally got a library card! I've lived in Utah for almost 8 years, and I have been without a library card the whole time. How sad is that?! So, I have the giddy "free-shopping" feeling of going to the library, browsing through books, CDs, and movies. I love it.
For Christmas, Patrick made me a Christmas Tree. It was a really busy holiday season, and money was tight, so I broke down in tears one day over not having a tree. I came home from work to a work of art on our wall. It was made of cut out wrapping paper with a string of lights pinned up and ornaments hanging off of the string of lights. Our star tree-topper was at the top. The rest of our Christmas decorations were all out on display as well. What a thoughtful gesture that was. I have a sweet husband.
I have an amazing job offer. I interview next week, and will hopefully find out shortly thereafter that I definitely have it. I'd say the job is 90% mine...the benefit of knowing the future boss. I am so very excited!
Patrick and I visited my family in January. The weather was amazing, and it was a really good time. Probably one of the best visits in the last few years!
My parents, sis, and sis's boyfriend came to visit earlier this month. That was also a nice visit. We girls went with Patrick's mom to Time Out For Women. It was an amazing two days. The first night, Jenny Oaks Baker played several songs on her violin. I cried when she played the Suite from Far and Away. Wow, it was amazing. It made me want to pick up my violin and start playing again. I miss my violin.
I got a calling in December to be the Relief Society Music Director. I've thoroughly enjoyed selecting hymns that go with the topic being taught in Relief Society each week. It's so amazing how music can really bring the spirit into a room!
Last week I got another calling to be a Visiting Teaching District Leader. I'm hoping it helps hold me accountable to do my own visiting teaching. :)
Patrick got a promotion at his job. Better pay, better hours, and a more enjoyable position. We're both excited about all of the betters.
I am chomping on the bit to start a family. Patrick is thrilled, too. We just need to get a few ducks in a row, and it'll be baby-time. I'm less scared/excited and more anxious/excited, which I think is a good thing.
I think I am a pretty nice person. Not a pushover-nice, but genuine-nice. I've had a couple experiences in the last couple months where I have been told otherwise. Both occasions were from people who are unhappy with themselves, and I truly believe that I was not being a rude, insensitive jerk. The lesson learned: I am capable of being happy and kind regardless of how I am treated. It's a choice. MY choice. And I will always choose happiness and kindness first. It'll be perceived however it's perceived...

Okay, my brain is now empty and Patrick just got home from work. Snuggle time. :)

Dinner Rolls to Die For

2010-01-02T13:36:00.002-07:00

The story behind this recipe is quite funny. My mom worked in a bakery as a teenager/young adult and regularly baked at home. She would make and decorate wedding cakes, birthday cakes, other cake orders, bread to sell, muffins to sell, various goodies to give away, and bread and treats for us at home. She became well known for her dinner rolls, and after several years, recognized a pattern. Every time there was a funeral, she would get called to make her amazing dinner rolls to serve to the family after the funeral services. It was only natural that the boring name "dinner rolls" developed into the well earned "Dinner Rolls to Die For."

Dinner Rolls to Die For

6 to 6 1/2 c. flour
1/2 c. sugar
2 tsp. salt
2 pkg. yeast
1/2 c. butter
1 egg
2 c. warm water (12o˚ to 130˚)
Salad oil

In large bowl, combine 2 1/4 cups flour, sugar, salt, and yeast; add butter. With mixer at low speed, gradually pour water into dry ingredients. Add egg; increase speed to medium and beat 2 minutes. Beat in 3/4 cup flour or enough to make a thick batter; continue beating 2 minutes. With spoon, stir in enough additional flour (about 2 1/2 cups) to make a soft dough. Turn dough onto a lightly floured surface an knead until smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. (I think my mom still uses her mixer for this part, if my memory is correct.)

Shape dough into ball and place in greased large bowl, turning over so that top of dough is greased. Cover with towel; let rise in warm place until doubled, about 1 1/2 hours. Grease 15 1/2 x 10 1/2 inch open roasting pan or cookie sheet with shallow edges (not flat!). Cut dough into 30 equal pieces; shape into balls and place in pan. Cover with towel; let rise in warm place until doubled, about 1 to 1/2 hours.

Preheat oven to 425˚. Bake 15 to 20 minutes, until golden brown. Brush rolls with melted butter. Remove from pan and serve immediately. Makes 2 1/2 dozen rolls.

These rolls are so amazing, it's ridiculous.

By the way, when my mom worked at the bakery, her boss taught her how to shape the dough into perfect rolls.

Place the little ball of dough on a lightly floured surface. Cup your hand as if you were to cup a small breast with your hand. (Yep - that's what he said!), now gently roll the ball of dough in a circular motion (breast reference continued) until it reaches the desired shape. :) All I can say is that it really is easier to shape the balls of dough into perfect rolls when you remember this very interesting trick of the trade!

Paradise Pumpkin Pie

2010-01-02T13:24:00.003-07:00

I'm finally getting to posting this recipe. It's one of my family-favorites that my mom bakes several of for Thanksgiving.

Paradise Pumpkin Pie

1 8-oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
1/4 c. sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 egg
1 9-inch unbaked pastry shell
*****
1 1/4 c. canned pumpkin
1 c. evaporated milk
1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ginger
1/4 tsp. nutmeg (I like to add a little more!)
Dash of salt
*****

Combine softened cream cheese, sugar and vanilla, mixing until well blended. Blend in egg. Spread onto bottom of pastry shell.

Combine remaining ingredients; mix well. Carefully pour over cream cheese mixture. Bake at 350˚, 1 hour and 5 minutes. Cool. Brush with maple syrup and garnish with pecan halves, if desired.

Look to the Light

2009-12-28T09:36:00.002-07:00

Ahhh, I already had my good cry for today. :) This video is amazing and has reminded me to keep my perspective in check when I feel like things aren't going so well.

Things are going quite well in life, though there are the days, here and there, that test my resolve. I have a lot of great things to post about this holiday season and what a sweet husband I have, so I will be posting again soon.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and were able to spend some time with family and cherish those relationships that have blessed your lives. I'm grateful that Patrick and I were able to do so. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2009-11-26T23:00:00.003-07:00

I just wanted to quickly express my thanks for the many blessings I have been given.

I am so blessed to have a great husband who loves me and supports me. I think I appreciate this blessing so much more than I otherwise would, because once upon a time I had a husband who did not support me, and I question whether or not he truly loved me. So, Patrick, thank you so much for being such a loving, patient, and forgiving husband. :) You are truly amazing.

I am very grateful for my wonderful family. I love my parents and my siblings, their spouses, and my beautiful nephews and nieces. All of my in-laws, too! I missed sharing this holiday with my family (especially mom's baking...Rolls to Die For), though I am also very blessed to have great friends who invited Patrick and me to their home for the feast. The rolls weren't my mom's, but they were still tasty. The turkey dressed in bacon and then baked was soooooo good!!

Which leads me to my friends. Great friends are one of life's most precious treasures. And I have a sack full of treasures!

I am grateful that I chose to take part in being an Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay back in May of 2006. I cannot explain what a blessing this has been in my life. I have met so many people and found amazing mentors who have influenced my life for the good. The extra income is great, but I have to be honest - the life changes have been priceless. I anxiously anticipate the good things to come in my life through this great opportunity!

I am eternally thankful for my testimony of God's love for me. Boy have I been a screwed up person, and thank goodness Jesus Christ has made it possible for me to move beyond the screwed up version of me. :) I find so much peace knowing that all things are possible when God is involved, including becoming a better person. Just like with family...I cannot thoroughly put into words how blessed I am because of this knowledge. :)

I am grateful for the beautiful home we live in, our 3 kitties who make me so happy, and the food on our table. I live a good life. And it is all due to God's hand. Thank you!

Now I am going to go eat some more pie. (I'll post recipes for the Rolls to Die For and Pumpkin Cheesecake Pie soon! They are divine!!)

Good idea:

2009-11-22T15:58:00.002-07:00

I should embroider this on my pillowcase. :)

"There are worse things than looking stupid.
Sleeping through life is one of them."

- Laura Preble

And I should just start going to bed earlier.

Am I the only one who finds it incredibly difficult to get to bed by 11pm, and near impossible to get to bed by 10pm?? And quite unpleasant to be up before 8am?

Photo from Lunch Without Ed

I heart Mary Kay

2009-11-17T11:07:00.006-07:00

I just wanted to share one of the Mary Kay commercials that has been on TV. I seriously LOVE these products, and even more...I love that I don't look my age! :)

Feel free to contact me to try these great products or get anything that you need!

Alison Largin
www.marykay.com/alargin
alargin@marykay.com

P.S. Check out the awesome Holiday and Limited-Edition products on my website. Sooooo great!!!

What a great song!

2009-11-10T10:02:00.003-07:00

Click here to listen!

Michael Jackson
"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.

This song is my current mantra! I am excited to change and grow for the better, and when the growing pains seem too much to bear, I'll just listen to this beautiful song and refocus. :)

Hello again!

2009-10-26T09:56:00.005-06:00

Wow, I have really fallen off the blogging wagon! My mind has obviously been elsewhere for the last couple months, which has been a really good thing. I think I'm ready to get back into the blogging world now that My world is a lot more stable.

During my break, I did make a little bag/tote one day. The craft bug has been biting me pretty hard lately. Deciding what to do can be a challenge. Here's how the bag turned out:

I used fabric I had on hand for the bag and to line the support piece inside, and I used fabric I had pieced together previously for the strap. Not my favorite color scheme, but I just needed to make something.

Here's the inside. I cut out a piece of cardboard and covered it with fabric using a glue gun. Totally brought me back to my teenage years when I covered a lot of notebooks with batting and fabric and made all sorts of pretty notebooks. Perhaps that is when my love/infatuation with notebooks and binders began...

And here is the bottom of the bag. I used a plastic bag from Z Gallerie as the template, and it turned out pretty good. I think I'll use this bag to hold my current embroidery projects and embroidery supplies.

I also stitched a Jack-O-Lantern face on a fabric pumpkin that I stitched years and years ago and finally put stuffing in a few weeks ago. I still need to find a cute twig to put in as the stem, then pull and seal it shut. I unfortunately stitched the face too low, but it's cute to look at, anyway. (I'll try to remember to take a picture!)

My crafty efforts lately correspond with a quote I recently heard:

Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction.

~Deanna Spillman

So, I'll take my imperfect crafts over no crafts at all. :)

Heart and Zen

2009-08-14T16:22:00.002-06:00

Keep your heart clear and transparent
And you will never be bound.
A single disturbed thought, though,
Creates ten thousand distractions.
Let myriad things captivate you
And you'll go further and further astray.
How painful to see people
All wrapped up in themselves.

- Ryokan

A LOT has happened in the last 5 days. A LOT. I haven't taken the time to blog about it, because it's going to take a lot of thought, accountability, and time. :) Just know that things are 100% better, and I'm excited about the future.

Anticipation is great, huh???!

Faith

2009-08-12T10:23:00.002-06:00

"Faith implies a certain trust, even a reliance, upon the word of our Creator. If you should have doubting thoughts, remember the counsel given by President Stephen L. Richards, a former counselor in the First Presidency, who declared: “Just say to those skeptical, disturbing, rebellious thoughts, ‘I propose to stay with my faith, with the faith of my people. I know that happiness and contentment are there and I forbid you, agnostic, doubting thoughts, to destroy the house of my faith. I acknowledge that I do not understand the processes of creation, but I accept the fact of it. I grant that I cannot explain the miracles of the Bible, and I do not attempt to do so, but I accept God’s word. I wasn’t with Joseph, but I believe him. My faith did not come to me through science and I will not permit science to destroy it."

--President Thomas S. Monson, "Great Expectations", CES Fireside January 2009

Random Thoughts from the Zoo: It's Friday!

2009-08-06T15:01:00.000-06:00

Super Cute Apron Giveaway!!!

Hey, just wanted to share this giveaway with you all...Random Thoughts from the Zoo is giving away a super cute black and white damask apron she made. Check it out and enter, will ya?!

The Lovers

2009-08-05T20:42:00.004-06:00

I don't know if I posted about my friend, Jillian, reading my Tarot cards, but I want to write down some of my thoughts from the reading.

It was on July 3rd, two days before Patrick initiated the conversation about the future of our marriage. I was working a double at work that day, and I was so excited for my break between shifts. As I was getting ready to wander for a couple hours, Jillian, a hostess at the restaurant, asked me if I would like her to read my cards during our break. I figured, why not? I'll read my horoscope once in a while for kicks. I have nothing to lose, and I might hear something comforting or insightful. And, it'll be fun and a first for me.

So, we went over to Barnes & Noble, sat at a table at the cafe, and went to town.

It would take too long to describe the layout she uses, every card that was drawn, the story about each card, and the meaning, as well as how it relates to my life, but let me tell you, it was FREAKING AMAZING. (The first card was The Lovers.) Even Jillian, who has done this a LOT, was completely blown away by how direct and applicable all of the cards were to the question I had, which was: What do I do about my marriage?

Here are some of the highlights:

My inner balance is off and I need to restore it.
I need to be kind to myself.
I need to control my anxiety.
A quiet retreat, sanctuary, or strategic withdrawal, where I can be alone with my thoughts will be very beneficial to me right now.
I need to quit faking "calm" and show my true feelings.
Nature is important to me. (the best place for me to find sanctuary)
The relationship I want is characterized by mutual affinity and union, clear, true, supportive, comforting, with room for passions to grow. There is potential for this in my existing relationship.
I should not re-enter social activities until satisfied that I have resumed contact with a personal value system.
I need to withdraw from all distractions.
I need to stand up for myself.
Basically, the outcome is up to me, and I need to do what is necessary so I can have a clear mind and make a confident decision.

That same day I wrote down some Action Items for myself:

Go visit Ken & Paula (my in-laws).
Find my sanctuary in the wilderness near here.
Follow through with a quiet, intentional withdrawal from all distractions. (NOT in the house - I have to be intentional with having purposeful introspection time.)
Be clear and logical and explain what I want to Patrick.

While I'm not religious about Tarot cards, horoscopes, etc., I do think that sometimes we hear a needed message through a unique medium.

I keep forgetting to focus on the good things I got out of this experience. I still haven't retreated to the wilderness, though I have spent hours in the back yard, reading and watching the wind breathe through the blades of grass.

I keep spending too much time with other people, and not with my own intentional thoughts. I really need to stop doing this. I want to wake up each day, have a plan and a goal, and work productively toward being a better person that day.

So, that's my first experience with tarot cards. Not too shabby. :)

30 in 30

2009-08-05T20:32:00.002-06:00

I decided today that I should make a list of 30 important things that I would like to do in my 30th year. I turned 30 on July 14th. So, rather than feeling old, I choose to feel like life is just beginning. I am on the cusp of self-discovery and loving it. :)

The list is up to 18 things right now. It's actually a little bit difficult to come up with 30 things off the top of my head! The list is on the bottom of the sidebar on the right side of my blog. It will stay there for the year. As I work on these things and accomplish them, I will blog about it.

Now, what should I do first???

This probably won't make sense to you...

2009-08-04T16:40:00.003-06:00

I feel so angry right now. I'm supposed to get in touch with my emotions and really allow myself to feel. Well, I don't know what to do with anger. It wants to turn into tears, but I just want to let it burn in my heart for a few. Why am I so angry? I know the "why," but I don't know why I decided to let the emotion come out of it. Self preservation?

Things I would like to say, but I'm too scared or feel like it's not very nice of me:
You can rationalize the hell out of your choices, but when it comes down to it, we are all filthy.
You are no better than any person out there. At all.
Talk to me that way again, and this journey will turn into a one-way ticket to hell.
Don't come back.

I miss my numb self that would just blow this off.

At the same time, I don't miss her at all.

Changes

2009-08-03T11:00:00.002-06:00

I got this in an email today and thought it was pretty funny:

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

I wish I had the balls to put that on my voicemail. :)

Your best face

2009-07-28T16:54:00.003-06:00

Today my mom, aunt, and my aunt's grandson came up to Salt Lake City to eat lunch at the restaurant where I work. Previously this weekend, my mom mentioned that she would like to see the new place. I planned on cleaning up yesterday, but ended up not doing much in the way of tidying the house. This morning she called, and I invited everyone to come in when they arrived.

Well, did you get a chance to clean the house?

Not really, but we're all family. I've seen you all at your worst, so it's not a big deal.

Do you really want us to come in if it's not clean?

It's not that messy. No one will get cooties coming in here. What's the big deal?

Well...okay...

Now I would LOVE to say that I couldn't care less what my house looks like, and I treat all people the same. However, that is simply not true. Typically I would spend some time sprucing up the place, even if just straightening cushions, vacuuming the floor, and lighting a candle. When it comes to family, though, I just don't feel like I have to put on a show. At least I shouldn't feel pressured to put on a show. I am who I am. And in light of recent life circumstances, I've cut way back on my obsessive compulsive cleaning habits. While this may be uncomfortable for some people who have their expectations about how I should behave (especially the husband), I'm not a freaking nanny.

When it comes to my house, what you see is what you get. This is my face.

This reminded me of a recent conversation I had, as well as my experience with a handful of people I know. When someone is taking your picture, do you prefer to have a certain side of your body or face photographed? A certain angle? A certain pose?

Why are we so preoccupied with putting on our best face for everyone?...protecting that which makes us feel vulnerable, below-average, and inadequate?

Do we all have a million different personalities and faces? That change with every circumstance or situation in which we find ourselves?

Is it possible to have one face and to feel completely secure about who you are?

I would like to get there.

A good one

2009-07-25T02:50:00.001-06:00

The more you talk and think about it,
The further astray you
Wander from the truth.
Stop talking and thinking,
And there is nothing you
Will not be able to know.
To return to the root
Is to find the meaning,
But to pursue appearances
Is to miss the source.
At the moment of inner enlightenment
There is a going beyond
Appearance and emptiness.

- Seng Ts'an (d. 606)

the voice of life, the voice of Being, of perpetual Becoming

2009-07-22T15:06:00.003-06:00

I'm almost done with Women Who Love Too Much, and I think I will immediately read it again. This book has been amazing for me. Amazing enough to help me smile this morning when I was told how to do laundry...a smile, chuckle, and then, "you know, you can do your own damn laundry." Mmm...it felt good.

I'm also almost done with Siddhartha. I can see why this book is a favorite for some of my favorite authors. I can see how it has influenced their works, or at least aligned with their thought processes anyway.

"Often they sat together in the evening on the tree trunk by the river. They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, of perpetual Becoming. And it sometimes happened that while listening to the river, they both thought the same thoughts, perhaps of a conversation of the previous day, or about on of the travelers whose fate and circumstances occupied their minds, or death, or their childhood; and when the river told them something good at the same moment, they looked at each other, both thinking the same thought, both happy at the same answer to the same question."

Herman Hesse, Siddartha p. 108

When I am able to have this quality of relationship with a person, I feel ridiculously blessed. I met a handful of people like this at Outback, getting to know them intimately while spending a week at a time in the wilderness. Oh, how I miss that job.

I dated a guy like that, too. I miss the nights we would sit outside, stare at the stars in silence and just be on the same page.

I want that.

The brief moments where the stars align and being is experienced lately have been wonderful. Very wonderful.

I'm excited about this stage of my journey. Good things are happening.

Happy Birthday Sis!!!

2009-07-13T17:41:00.003-06:00

Happy Birthday to my sweet sister, Kosette!!!

I love her sooooo much!

Today she turns 28.

We fought a lot growing up, but I can honestly say that as adults, we love each other even more. She's the best sister ever!!!

I love you Kosette!

Marriage & Divorce

2009-07-13T09:44:00.003-06:00

Just when I needed to hear it:

Something unique about me - when I need to hear or read something, it appears. This need isn't a temporal need; it is not a religious need; it is a spiritual need. And it comes in various forms: a smile, an old book, a phone call, a picture, an email, a video, etc.

Anyway, this video is just what I needed to hear right now.

I think I know what I am going to do with this relationship, but doubt still fills my mind. I want to make the right decisions. I suppose I should go consult the man upstairs. :)

A side note: My friend, Brinn, lent me her copy of Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood. Talk about a mind-blowing book. I am a woman who loves too much, and I'm excited to finish this book and learn how to stop this negative and unhealthy pattern in my life. I HIGHLY recommend this book to every single woman out there. You will learn something that you can apply to yourself or that will help you be a supportive friend for your friends who are stuck in codependent relationships. What a great book.

I turn 30 tomorrow, and I am very excited about the possibilities of the future. I'm grateful that I am able to continue learning and growing and becoming the woman God intends me to be!

Blossom

2009-07-13T09:22:00.003-06:00

I can't remember the source of the picture. I found it last night, and I slept it out of my memory. Dang it!

Anyway, I love this quote, and I love the font used. I'm intrigued by quote tattoos. Their only down side is that it's pretty trendy to have a quote done; however, the actual quote tattooed probably varies quite a bit, so there is some sort of originality with this concept.

If I had a quote permanently placed on my body, what would it say???

One of my favorite tattoos I've ever seen was on a girl at my work. It was a big beautiful tree, using blues, greens, and yellows. It was so magnificent. It was in the same place as this quote tattoo pictured, but a little more towards her back. Anyway, I wanted to frame it...which would be pretty difficult to do...

Fall Back by Obadiah Parker

2009-07-04T00:21:00.002-06:00

I love it when I'm listening to my Ipod and I hear a "new" song that hits home. Here's the lyrics to this one:

Fall Back

I swear that I’ve been here before, on this same couch with this
Same disregard.
Baby, this is where darkness lives, and it’ll catch you off your guard.
I hope you can believe there’s more to me than what you see,
And that we have no business here even though you don’t agree.

Until we fall back onto the great I am
We’ll use up all we got, our love we will exhaust.
Until we learn to trust in the God of Abraham
And give up what we got, all will be lost.

Something here is wrong, I can hear it in your voice,
But crying at home by yourself is your method of choice.
Over the phone, just a couple miles away, is right where I belong.
Do you think that you were happier before I came along?

Until we fall back onto the great I Am
We’ll use up all we got, our love we will exhaust.
Until we learn to trust in the God of Abraham
And give up what we got, all will be lost.

I want to love you well; I want to do this right.
During the day it’s so easy but it gets hard at night.
I hope you can believe that I can’t go on at this rate;
Something’s gotta change, I just hope it’s not too late

Until we fall back onto the great I Am
We’ll burn up all we got, our love we will exhaust.
Until we learn to trust in the God of Abraham
And give up what we got, all will be lost.

What’cha gonna do with your love?
What’cha gonna let go of?
It’s time to make your choice right now.

What’cha gonna do about this?
You know it’s never just one kiss.
Don’t lie to me, don’t lie to yourself.

I feel like everything is wrong.

Use Your Words

2009-06-28T23:23:00.002-06:00

Have you heard a mom say that to their little kid when they are whining or otherwise ineffectively communicating? I've heard a LOT of mom's say that. And I anticipate saying that to my kids as well.

I feel like saying that to myself and to my husband lately.

Why is it that when something is going wrong in a relationship, it is far easier to give the silent treatment rather than to communicate the issue and resolve it quickly?

Grunts and two word answers do not count as communicating.

And remaining silent instead of expressing myself does not count either.

I feel like if I were to use my words, it wouldn't be pretty. Perhaps that is how he also feels.

It has been a quiet day. Very quiet.

Today's Daily Zen

2009-06-28T22:44:00.002-06:00

Like the empty sky it has no boundaries,
Yet it is right in this place,
Ever profound and clear.
When you seek to know it,
You cannot see it.
You cannot take hold of it,
But you cannot lose it.
In not being able to get it, you get it.
When you are silent, it speaks;
When you speak, it is silent.
The great gate is wide
Open to bestow alms,
And no crowd is blocking the way.

- Cheng-tao Ke

TV, Tears, Books, and Dreams

2009-06-16T10:21:00.005-06:00

I love the emotional chaos I experience revolving around my period. I actually got teary watching a girl win some prizes on The Price is Right this morning. What the...?!?!

I stayed up until 3:30 am doing nothing last night, then woke up before 8 am with horrific cramps. Thank goodness I had some Midol and a rice-filled hot pad that a friend gave me years ago. It heats up beautifully in the microwave. So take all that pain and discomfort, throw in some emotion, and voila - tears at The Price is Right. :) Silly.

There was an item to price for one of the games on The Price is Right that totally inspired a crafty idea for me. I got a couple wooden frames at DI the other day, and the frame on The Price is Right had a really cool design either painted or wood-burned into it. I'm totally going to get a wood burner and do this to one of, or both, of the frames I got!

I finished The Zahir by Paulo Coelho this morning while treating my abdomen with the hot pad. I really started reading this book in December then forgot to keep reading it for several months. I'm a pretty fast reader if I can stay focused long enough to actually read a book. Anyway, I really enjoyed the book. It took me awhile to get into it, but that's because I wasn't ready for it. In December, I was ready.

I am a huge fan of Paulo Coelho. I swear when I read his books, it is just the time in my life that I am touched very specifically by the book. This happened with The Alchemist and Eleven Minutes. I think I've read The Pilgrimage, but I can't remember! It seems like I had a pleasant dream about the story, and it has fueled my own passion to have a personal pilgrimage. I would be ecstatic to actually go walk/hike the road to Santiago by myself. Yep, by myself. I mentioned it to Patrick once, and he would flip out if I were gone, in a foriegn country, on foot, by myself, for a month. I suppose I understand, but that doesn't remove the yearning from my soul. I'm pretty sure I've read By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, too, but like The Pilgrimage, it's foggy in my memory. I'll read both of these again.

So, if you haven't read anything by Paulo Coelho, go get The Alchemist. It's a place to start.

Poor Poodles!

2009-06-16T01:23:00.003-06:00

I'm watching a re-broadcast of the news, and this story brought tears to my eyes:

I can't believe the guy's family didn't call animal control sooner...they knew there were way too many dogs there. So sad. I'm glad the poodles are all cleaned up and will go to good homes.

(I freaking hate animal abuse.)

My kind of day!

2009-06-15T23:56:00.004-06:00

I had a fun dirty day today.

After work, I stopped at Western Gardens and bought a bunch of herbs and some flowers. I cleaned up a rusted planter we got at an estate sale last year, painted it with a rust-killing primer, then spray painted it gold. I spent several hours moving the herbs into the little pots that sit all around the planter. (I'll take pictures in the day light.) Then I went to Ace Hardware and got a couple more pots and a habanero pepper plant for Patrick. That'll be fun when that one grows up and starts producing peppers equivalent to hell-fire-and-damnation. :)

So, we now have:

strawberries
cilantro
yellow pear tomatoes
yellow summer squash
rosemary
thyme
thai basil
cinnamon basil
spearmint
peppermint
geraniums
chives
habanero
and another flower plant that I can't remember its name...

I still want to get more plants, but I've decided this is a great start for this year. It will definitely keep me busy watering every day! I guess that's the only down side to having all of the plants in pots. The only one in the ground is the summer squash.

Getting my hands dirty and being outside always makes for a good day. :)

Then I made lentil soup with garlic, onions, jalapeno, bacon, and some spices. It was goooood. The only thing missing was my mom's home made rolls.

Tomorrow I'll be making home made bread. It's been a very long time since I last made bread, so hopefully it goes well. I can't wait to pull fresh bread out of the oven, cut a thick slice, and drench it in butter. That's a piece of heaven right there!

The Power of Intention

2009-06-10T17:56:00.000-06:00

The Secrets of the Power of Intention: Live Lecture by Wayne W. Dyer

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This lecture has been such a positive influence on my life. I lent it to my sister, and I miss having it in my car to keep me focused on what is most important. I HIGHLY recommend this lecture to anyone and everyone.

View all my reviews.

On a Positive Note...

2009-06-07T23:44:00.005-06:00

I need to have more positive notes.

Have you heard of Dr. Wayne Dyer? I first heard of him around 4-5 years ago (really? that long ago??) when I worked at Outback Therapeutic Expeditions. I got my hands on his CD lecture, The Power of Intention. I listened to the 6 CD's over and over and over. At the time, I had a 30 minute commute each way to work, so it was a great time to listen and ponder what I was hearing. Whenever I was listening to that collection, my life felt so much more focused. I felt at peace. I felt hope. These are totally different feeling words than I used in my last post. :)

Yesterday I was doing some cleaning and Dr. Wayne Dyer was on PBS promoting his newest lecture and books. This one is called Excuses Begone! The book was published this May, so the PBS special was excerpts from a lecture he gave, and they were raising money for PBS by selling his books and CD's. It was a great program. The little bit that I heard was TOTALLY what I needed to hear. He talked about the 18 most commonly used excuses that all of us use way too frequently when we settle for less.

I Can't Afford It
It's Going to be Risky
It Will Take a Long Time
I'm too Busy
It Will be Difficult
There Will be Family Drama
I Don't Deserve It
It's Not My Nature
No One Will Help Me
It Has Never Happened Before
I'm Not Strong Enough
I'm Not Smart Enough
I'm Too Old (or Not Old Enough)
The Rules Won't Let Me
It's Too Big
I Don't Have the Energy
It's My Personal Family History
I'm Too Scared

I really want to get the book and CD collection and really take the time to quit using these excuses in my life (including my current frustrating situation).

I believe that our thoughts dictate the direction and the quality of our experience in this world. I just need to put that belief into practice, so it becomes concrete knowledge. A great place for me to start is with how I think about myself and about Patrick, though I really do feel that focusing on myself is the true starting point.

Oh, I have so much work to do...

P.S. Daily Inspiration from Dr. Wayne Dyer!

P. P. S. Sorry no pictures. I need to start loving my camera again. I know I actually take time to look at and read posts when there's at least one picture. I'm such a hypocrite! ;)

I just don't know what to do with myself...

2009-06-07T02:53:00.003-06:00

You know that song with that line in the lyrics? I don't remember what the rest of the song was about, but that line is popping into my head.

Sometimes I can't get too specifically personal on my blog, which drives me nuts. There are things I would like to say and put into words to help me process my thoughts, but I'm afraid of people reading it and jumping straight to their own assumptions.

Hell, who cares.

My marriage is still pretty rough. I'm at the point where I honestly don't know if this is going to work, or if I think it is even supposed to work. I'm tired of having conversations about what needs to happen, followed by very little (if any) action. I'm tired of being the belittled and berated scapegoat. I'm tired of being judged by someone who is not innocent. I'm tired of not feeling like I'm as amazing as I really am.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

blah

2009-05-20T22:44:00.002-06:00

I ate chocolate cake batter as a snack today.

I didn't make any Mary Kay phone calls today.

I smell.

I went to work and made $30.

I went to a pole class that was fun.

I cleaned out my car.

I wasted a lot of time on the computer.

I want more cake batter. (Period time.)

That's my day today. I am definitely still in a funk.

A day late

2009-05-11T07:44:00.004-06:00

Yesterday was an odd day for me. For several reasons:

1) Patrick's mom stopped by after her flight landed in SLC. She had been visiting her sister in California. I love seeing Jana and talking with her. I don't think I was prepared to tell her Happy Mother's Day or anything, though. I know it's not hard to say the words, but my whole day felt very off, so I couldn't put the heart behind the words. And Patrick may or may not have told her Happy Mother's Day, and if he did, it was probably minimized as much as possible. So, if I put forth a stronger message of love and appreciation than her own son....it's just weird. And it would be fine if he didn't get so bugged when I do communicate my love and appreciation for his mom.

***WHY do husbands think that their wife has to adopt their feelings toward their family??? I experienced this with my ex-husband, too, and it is DAMN annoying!

2) I didn't even call my own mom. How crappy is that? I didn't do it intentionally. I forgot. Like I said, yesterday wasn't the greatest, and I was consumed in my own frustrations and self-pity. Not good, but that's where I was. I will certainly call the little lady this morning and apologize profusely. (I'm a crappy daughter sometimes.)

3) I have been at a crossroad in my life, metaphorically speaking, that is, for quite some time. I am SICK of it! Yesterday was one of those days that just rubbed my nose in the fact that my life is okay, mediocre, average, and ordinary. And that just sucks. My life isn't meant to be those things. It is meant to be remarkable, extraordinary, meaningful, focused, driven, successful, loving, cherished, and blessed. The only thing between where it is now and where it should be, unfortunately, is ME. *sigh*

4) We're moving this month. This is great and all, but moving is stressful for me, and right now, I need to be focusing on other things. Reality bites. I'm going to be the whip cracker to get this done (aka getting Patrick to go through his shit). This role wears me out. And while I'm excited for this new home, I'm a little worried. Patrick's friend, Chris, is moving in with us. He's a great guy, and I like him a lot. Patrick swears that Chris is a clean person, but Patrick thinks that he is a clean person. I don't want another adult man to pick up after. Is that too much to ask? And for some reason, I can't figure out how to get Patrick to get things done without turning into a naggy, angry, bitter, resentful bitch. That is so not me! Can't we all just look around and pitch in every day????? Is that too much to ask???? And I'm hoping that having another person around won't be a strain on our already strained relationship. I guess we'll just see how it goes.

5) The best part of my day was watching last week's episode of Grey's Anatomy while I put laundry away. I love that show. Quite naturally, I cried. It sucks that Izzie is going to die (most likely, anyway), but I suppose Katherine Heigl asked for it. What a great show. It at least made the "love" part of my heart a little warm. Thank goodness tv fills in for the inadequacies of real life, eh? :)

Okay, I realize this post is really negative, pessimistic, and a load of crappy venting. But guess what? It had to be done. It's out, and I feel a little bit better. Like I told my mom when we were in Arizona at the beginning of the month, "All I can do is my best. I can't predict the outcome of anything, so in the meantime, I take care of myself, and do my very best." So, it's time I start doing it.

Swanki Hats GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

2009-04-25T15:21:00.000-06:00

Swanki Hats GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Check it out and you just might win an awesome hat! :)

Today's Daily Zen

2009-04-24T16:16:00.002-06:00

Of one thing it is said
"that is bad"
and of another it is said
"that is good."
But there is nothing
inherent in things
that make them good
or bad, for each thing's
self is empty of
independent existence.

- Samantabhadra-Bodhisattva-sutra

I really like today's Zen quote. It reminds me of a little plaque that my grandma had in her kitchen that I am sure she toll-painted. It said, "Don't criticize your wife's judgment. She picked you as a husband!" So, to criticize others is to criticize yourself...we are all connected. Not to mention, the world could use a lot more praise and positivity!

BEFORE & AFTER

2009-04-23T17:51:00.004-06:00

I'm finally getting around to posting pictures of my new hair color and trim. I forgot to take an "after" picture at the salon, so I had to wait for a day when I wasn't too lazy to actually do my hair. I'll be honest, the ponytail and I have a sickly codependent relationship. :)

BEFORE (my hair was so greasy!!!)

AFTER (and on my way to work)

I think I'm going to grow out my bangs again. I've enjoyed having them, but I'm not sure if they are quite right for my roundish/squarish face. I like having longer hair, though...I'll keep that for a bit, although I did find a few pictures of me with shorter hair back in August or so in 2006, and good gravy, I was hot! :) My goal this summer is to change my eating habits into healthy habits and exercise consistently. I want to look and feel healthier, which definitely means slimmer!! I've seen blogs where there is a daily picture of what the person is wearing that day. It might be fun to do that for a couple reasons: 1. I'll have to get up and get dressed every day. :) Sadly, I need motivation to end my beauty sleep. 2. I could make a sweet slideshow of my body shrinking. That would make me feel really good to watch. 3. It would be good fun.

Well, onto something more productive...

Hello

2009-04-19T16:25:00.001-06:00

This is a picture I like of me, taken in January. I'm diggin' the red lips lately.

P.S.

2009-04-18T22:38:00.001-06:00

I hate how when I post videos and such, they're always WAY BIGGER than my column for posts. Anyone know how to fix that???

The Soloist

2009-04-18T22:32:00.005-06:00

It's been awhile since Patrick and I went to see a movie in a theater. Well, I'm very excited to go see this one...maybe I'll drag my family out when we're visiting in Arizona in a couple weeks:

Today's Daily Zen

2009-04-17T12:38:00.001-06:00

Enlightenment is like the
moon reflected on the water.
The moon does not get wet,
nor is the water broken.
Although its light is wide and great,
the moon is reflected even
in a puddle an inch wide.
The whole moon and the entire sky
are reflected in dewdrops on the grass,
or even in one drop of water.

- Dogen (1200-1253)

Today's WOW moment:

2009-04-16T00:41:00.005-06:00

Well, a TON of people have heard about Susan Boyle who performed on Britain's Got Talent last week. I hadn't heard of her until tonight, and her performance is surprising. Like getting surprised with a present when you're totally not expecting it. The song is I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables. The song is kind of sad/depressing, but the fact that this not-so-attractive 47 year old just tears it up blows me away. Watching the audience and the judges go from cynical and judgmental to entirely blown away is a trip. This woman inspires me.

Here's the link to the video on YouTube: Susan Boyle

What did you think?

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T03:08:00.002-06:00

Happy Easter everyone!! I'll be doing homework by myself today, which isn't fun, but it has to be done. Patrick and I will have to do a nice dinner when he gets back from Vegas.

Trying a new dew

2009-04-09T14:32:00.003-06:00



I'm getting my hair done tomorrow and my stylist always gives me a hard time if I've recently washed my hair. Well normally i wash on thursdays, but i figured i'd get it nice and greasy for her by  waiting another day. Gross? Hey, I'm trying to be obedient.:) so to disguise my hamburger head i did the head wrap. I'm not sure if i pulled it off, but it sure was interesting to observe other  people's reaction to it. Lots of stares in utah county.:) i can't wait to have a clean head tomorrow! Oh, we called really oily hair hamburger head when i was growing up...you know all the oil left in  the pan when you cook ground beef on the stove? Funny, huh?

WOW me with your great service...

2009-03-23T18:36:00.006-06:00

Good Customer Service vs. Bad Customer Service:

Well, here's today's example of bad customer service which I find pretty funny, actually...

Patrick got a phone call from a debt management company (not sure the name...don't care, either), and when he firmly informed the caller that he was on the Federal Do Not Call List and should not have been called, the caller said, "Do you have any KY Jelly for the dildo I'm about to shove up your @$$?" SERIOUSLY!!! The guy, representing that company, actually said that to Patrick. Who does that?? He must seriously hate his job, and maybe he saw a window with a blue sky of unemployment to jump out of. :)

Speaking of unemployment, Patrick is a whiz when it comes down to finding numbers. So, he just had a talk with the company and will be getting a call back when this caller has been "dealt" with.

Ahh...I'll laugh about this one for awhile.

***UPDATE***
So, the VP of the company called Patrick back and informed him that they found the caller, actually had a recording of the conversation, and they immediately escorted him off of the premises. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahah!!!!!! Oh, that is too funny!

Then the VP asked him how he got their phone number, since they get around the Do Not Call List by routing their calls through Canada. All he would say is, "I'm just really resourceful."

(Thank you Google!)

Blog-Name Dropping and My Great Weekend

2009-03-23T07:39:00.006-06:00

Rather than finishing my breakfast or getting in the shower, I decided to post this morning. :) Lucky you!

First of all, I have found a couple of blogs that put a smile on my face. There is the sailor-element to both of these, so for the tender eyes, just don't go there. For those of you who are as crusty and crass as I can be, check them out!!

Pacing the Panic Room (You may have seen the weekly pregnancy pictures the author takes of his wife...they're awesome photos and it's a great idea! Also, the author is an awesome photographer, so check out his work and send him good vibes for some job prospects!!!)

Scary Mommy (I've only read a couple of the posts, but dang, she's funny!)

And, lastly (since I really need a shower...), I had a great weekend. We had our area Career Conference with Mary Kay on Friday and Saturday. I've always enjoyed Career Conference...lots of great training and motivation. I especially love hearing from other women who came from much more difficult circumstances than I and have just conquered the world. Those women amaze and inspire me!

I'm also super excited about the company's Great Start program where new Beauty Consultants who sign an agreement ($100) are eligible to get a $100 rebate when they place a $600 wholesale order by the end of April. On top of that, they get $100 in free full size product, $113.50 in a free color look customized just for them, $56.50 in free samples, free personal website for 6 months, free catalogs, and the Starter Kit, alone, comes with over $300 in full size product. It's freaking amazing!!! My hope is that anyone I know takes a moment to look at the info and open their mind to the potential of the opportunity. :) It has blessed my life more than I could tell!!

I've made the decision to earn my first free car with Mary Kay. This is a huge goal, one of the best kinds - it's big enough to scare me! :) So, send me some good energy as I work toward this goal!!

beautiful dream catcher

2009-03-19T13:18:00.003-06:00

Okay, I have to share a blog I love: A Print a Day

Yasmine has done a couple of dream catchers, and I LOVE THEM. So, I figured I should share them with whomever stops by my blog. :) Check out the rest of her great work at her website!

I'm labeling this post "projects" since I want to find a way to use the dream catcher in a craft or something. Hopefully an idea will creep into my head. ...in the meantime...schoolwork is calling...

Today's Zen

2009-03-14T14:02:00.002-06:00

Do away with your old habits and start fresh.
Wash away your old opinions,
And new ideas come in

- Xue Xuan (1389-1464)

I really like this one. There is value in "washing away" old habits, opinions, and ideas to make room for new ones. This is something I strive for. I'm not always successful, but it's something that has benefited me when it is successful.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-12T20:18:00.004-07:00

Iwas crafty today!!! I should wait to post this, since I'm sending these to my nephews and nieces, but I just can't wait! I'm kinda pleased with the result. :)

I made this Valentine:

Not too shabby, eh?? :) Now I wonder if I have any envelopes that would fit these cards.... AND, what am I going to do for Patrick for Valentine's Day???

Today's Daily Zen

2009-02-03T19:06:00.002-07:00

You provide me a form;
I entrust you my Mind.
Though the body is filled
To the full by you,
The ten thousand things
Have become light.
Roaming in the universe,
In and out of mountain forests,
Why should I admire the beauty
Of red and purple robes?
I seek only that which
Frost and snow cannot harm.

- Han-Shan Te-Ch'ing

Thank Goodness

2009-01-24T14:18:00.002-07:00

Thank goodness Patrick loves me enough to love me regardless of and as I work through my problems. Thank goodness I love Patrick enough to love him through his problems too.

This is one of the clips from the last episode of Grey's Anatomy. It wasn't the pivitol point of the episode or the biggest tear jerker for me, but still, a meaningful moment that reminded me of the importance of compassion and empathy.

Grey's Anatomy has put out 3 phenomenal episodes in a row with some serious tear jerking moments. The issues surrounding the death row patient and Meredith's compassion for him spurred a little ethics discussion in my head. I'm realizing more and more that the world is not black and white, and I find myself identifying with Meredith's choices in the last couple episodes.

I'm still digesting the last couple episodes and trying to process it all. Wow. Just wow.

(And I'm supposed to be doing homework right now.) :)

Zen for the day!

2009-01-13T20:26:00.002-07:00

A mind full of light is like a blue sky found in a somber room.

- Hung Ying-ming 1596

Warrior of the Light Online

2009-01-10T14:22:00.003-07:00

If you love Paulo Coehlo, too, or don't know who he is (aka...have yet to fall in love with him!), check out his blog. It's a newsletter sort-of format where he shares insights and little stories. There's more information about him as well. Here's a link that will take you to an especially insightful article that has made me consider breaking the "norm."

Warrior of the Light Online

Posted using ShareThis

Today's Daily Zen

2009-01-09T10:34:00.001-07:00

Sitting by a teapot in a room bathed with pure breezes and moonbeams, one can read the mind of Heaven in every thing. Walking along a running brook in the clouded mountain, one can observe the mysteries of Tao in every moment.

- Hung Ying-ming 1596

Daily Zen Highlights

2009-01-09T09:38:00.003-07:00

There's a website called Daily Zen that I set to pop up every time I open my browser. The daily posts are always great, but a few have really struck me. I usually post them on my friend, Melanie's MySpace or Facebook account, since she's my zenny friend. I've decided I'm going to start posting them here, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Growing older, I grow into the Tao
I make my home in southern mountains
and go there on a whim to wander alone.
But even in all this splendor, things remain empty.
I climb to the headwaters of the river
where clouds rise up from emptiness.
If I chance to meet another hermit in the woods,
we talk and laugh and never even think of home.

- Wang Wei

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Autumn mountains:
Brocades of light
The clouds:
Endless beauty
I lean on my staff,
Contemplate crimson leaves
Silent:
As the birds streaming above me.

- Shih-shu (17th century)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We just sit in the midst of this contradiction where, although we aim, we can never perceive hitting the mark. We just sit in the midst of this contradiction that is absolutely ridiculous when we think about it with our small mind. In our zazen, it is precisely at the point where our small, foolish self remains unsatisfied, or completely bewildered, that immeasurable natural life beyond the thoughts of that self functions. It is precisely at the point where we become completely lost that life operates and the power of Buddha is actualized.

- Kosho Uchiyama (1912 -1999)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Melanie and Me after a concert in 2006

I want to make this

2009-01-01T23:29:00.002-07:00

A yardstick coat rack!

This would look fabulous in our house. :) And it's super easy to make!

A goal: Read 12 books in 2009

2009-01-01T23:19:00.000-07:00

What I want to read this year:

1. “Siddhartha” by Herman Hesse (recommended by Paulo Coelho)
2. “The Zahir” by Paulo Coelho (I’ve already started this one)
3. “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” by Hannah Green (recommended by my husband)
4. “The China Study” by T. Colin Campbell, Ph.D. (I started this one a couple years ago and never finished. I was enjoying the book.)
5. “Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart” by Jim Dawson (another book I started and didn’t finish…my husband gave it to me in fun)
6. “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values” by Robert M. Pirsig
7. “The Pilgrimage” by Paulo Coelho
8. “Prose Poems” by Kahlil Gibran (I’ve read a couple of the poems and LOVE this book. I found it at an antique store…lucky me!)
9. “Remembering Wholeness: A Personal Handbook for Thriving in the 21st Century” by Carol Tuttle (almost finished with this one)
10. “Atonement: A Novel” by Ian McEwan (started…need to finish…I need to quit starting and not finishing books!!!)
11. “Accepting the Universe” by John Burroughs
12. “The Fifth Mountain” by Paulo Coelho (pretty much anything by Paulo Coelho is on my list.)

...any other suggestions?? We pretty much have a library at my house; there certainly isn’t a shortage of books I haven’t read. I’ll probably just pick books at random to read, or I’ll ask my husband what he recommends, since most of the books are his. I’ve read most, if not all, of the books that are mine.

a funny(ish) story

2009-01-01T13:57:00.004-07:00

Okay, it's probably not that funny, but I tend to entertain myself very easily. I'm the first one to laugh at my jokes and sometimes the only one that laughs. I'm okay with that.

Anyway, on to the story...

When I was in Denver helping to open the new Ling & Louie's, we trainers (Hospitality Hot Shots, that is) would come up with an "ice breaker" to start the day with all of the servers and hostesses we were training. One day, the "ice breaker" was to say your favorite animal and who your "celebrity freebie" would be...in the opposite gender's voice. So, in a man's voice, I said, "I love rottweilers because they're so STRONG!!! And I would totally do Bill Murray!!!" It was a joke, of course, but the reaction was great. Good old Makayla said Jackie Chan, and one of the servers said Borat, so there were a couple other funny answers.

I got an email from milliondollarbody.com (which has some awesome workout programs...I have Slim in 6) with Bill Murrays 6 New Years Resolution Tips, and it made me laugh because of my prior reference to Bill Murray. Here's his list of tips:

"Baby steps." In What About Bob?, Bill plays a manipulative obsessive-compulsive learning to get through life using "baby steps," as suggested by his shrink, Richard Dreyfuss. Try baby steps with your resolutions. You don't need to swear off all processed sugar and have washboard abs by the end of 2009. Start by limiting sweets to once a week and working out 5 days a week. If that's too much, swear off ice cream and walk 3 days a week. Pick an achievable goal, and when you reach it, pick another one.

"A former greenskeeper, now about to become the Masters champion." Baby steps might not be enough for you. Maybe it's six-pack abs or nothing. If this is the case, think about Bill in Caddyshack. As groundskeeper Carl, he spends the entire film hatching grandiose plans to beat that gopher.

It never occurs to him to take it one hole at a time. The same goes for you. The abs can be the goal, but start with cleaning up the diet, getting the exercise on a regular basis, burning the fat, building the muscle, etc. This way, if the year is up and you haven't quite got the abs you want, you'll still feel like you accomplished a lot along the way.

"If that were our plane, it'd be crashing." In Quick Change, Bill robs a New York bank. It goes off without a hitch, until the supposed "easy part," the getaway to the airport, turns out to be wrought with obstacles, thus forcing him to continually improvise.

It's almost certain that you're going to hit all kinds of surprise road bumps on the way to your goals. Your body is every bit as complex and chaotic as Manhattan is to Bill and his accomplices. When things go egg-shaped, change your route or, if necessary, alter your goals.

"Stewardess, is there a movie on this flight?" In Stripes, Bill joins the army, but he brings the party with him. P90X® may be a boot camp, but that doesn't mean you can't have a little fun mingled in with the pain. Pick an outfit you're dying to wear and make it a goal to fit into it. Learn to jump rope. Buy a pogo stick and pledge to get up to 100 bounces. Make a point of going dancing once a month. Mock Tony as he bosses you around on screen—whatever it takes.

"How about a little teamsmanship?" The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou finds Bill struggling to understand the relationships in his life. In the end, he learns about the power of friendship and family. The same goes for you. Don't be afraid to ask for support from the people around you. Or, you can also look to the Beachbody Message Boards and to our workout partnering system, WOWY.com, for motivation and inspiration.

"We came, we saw, we kicked its . . . ." Bill goes up against insurmountable odds to defeat the Sumerian god Gozer the Gozerian in Ghostbusters. Sometimes, it may feel like you'd have better luck fighting the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man than achieving your goals. The odds may be against you, the pounds of fat many, and the cravings intense, but if you sit there and fret, you'll never know if you can do it. The same lesson can be pulled from watching Bill play the role of Polonius in Hamlet. Bill Murray doing Shakespeare? Exactly. You never know unless you try, so don't be afraid of no ghost.

"I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life." If you try and you fail, remember Groundhog Day, which finds Bill living the same day over and over until he gets it right. Just because you mess up your resolution doesn't mean you've been beaten. Just take a deep breath and try again. Eventually, you'll figure it out. And don't forget, if your goal is to do Slim in 6® but you only made it through 4 weeks, that's still 4 weeks of fitness that will back you up for your next try.

Listen to Uncle Bill. He knows what he's talking about. Take this advice regarding your resolutions, and, just as Bill famously said to John Candy in Stripes, you'll soon be a "lean, mean, fighting machine."

Well put, Bill...and Team Beachbody. :)

New Years Eve report

2009-01-01T13:46:00.004-07:00

Our New Years Eve turned out quite nice. Patrick and I went to my friend, Brinn's house and spent the evening with her and her man, Trevor, and their adorable little girl, Tinsley. We played a feisty game of Scrabble (that game never gets played peacefully), watched the ball drop in NYC on tv, exchanged a kiss (Patrick and me, that is), and ate a bunch of munchies. It was low key and a pleasant success. :)

Happy 2009!

2008-12-31T18:17:00.002-07:00

I can't believe it's going to be 2009 in less than 6 hours! Where have the last 29 1/2 years of my life gone?? :) To me, New Years Eve isn't the greatest "holiday." It's always a let-down, and this year is no exception. Patrick and I had planned to do something great tonight, but nothing is panning out. It might be a quiet night at home, which isn't a bad thing, but it's not what we were hoping for. Maybe we'll walk over to Green Street or something...

On a more positive note, I'm pondering my "list of resolutions." The list needs development, but here goes:

1. Finish my bachelors degree (I'm all registered for the Spring semester and will graduate when I finish the semester!!!)

2. Build up a respectable savings account, making weekly deposits

3. Make significant progress in getting out of debt

4. Get physically fit...exercise regularly (i.e. 3 times a week would be nice) :)

5. Work on strengthening myself (emotionally, spiritually, intellectually)

6. Work on strengthening my marriage

7. Go camping and hiking (nature is one of my best antidepressants)

8. Declutter the house~~~SIMPLIFY

9. Embroider, scrapbook, craft, create

The color test

2008-12-29T22:50:00.004-07:00

I took the Color Test and the results are freaky:

Your Existing Situation

Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.

Your Stress Sources

Wishes to be independent, unhampered, and free from any limitation or restriction, other than those which she imposes of herself or by her own choice and decision.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood nor adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.

Feels rather isolated and alone, but is too reserved to allow herself to form deep attachments. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Willing to become emotionally involved and able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity, but tries to avoid conflict.

Your Desired Objective

Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in action. Activity is directed towards success or conquest and there is a desire to live life to the fullest.

Your Actual Problem

Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts.

ENFP

2008-12-29T22:39:00.002-07:00

I just took the personality test, and mine is ENFP. It says it's really uncommon, but I swear I've heard of a lot of people with this personality type. It could be that we answer questions in a way that we think we should answer them. Or maybe I associate with people like myself, so I find people with this rare personality type. Who knows...

Either way, it works for me. Here's my favorite description of this personality:

"ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it."

- Portrait of an ENFP (The Personality Page)

If you know me, does this seem accurate?? :) I want Patrick to take it too...

Painted Canvases for My Bedroom

2008-12-29T13:59:00.005-07:00

Now that I have a camera again, I can finally post some pictures of what I've made! One of the girls I work with has "Craft Day" with her roommates every so often. Her name is Makayla. She invited me a couple months ago to participate. I made the lotus pillow for another friend's birthday on that day. Before we got to crafting, we hit up Michael's and Big Lots for supplies. Big Lots had small, medium, and large canvases for a great price, so I grabbed 3 large canvases to do something with. I think they were $10 or $15 each. The smalls are $5, so the large was probably $15. I want to go get some small ones to paint for friends. I still haven't done Christmas gifts, so I better get on it. (YES, I am a huge procrastinator!!!)

I finally decided what I wanted to do with the canvases, so I bought some paints and went to town. Now, I am not really an artist. I can be creative once in awhile, but it's not something that comes naturally to me...and I don't know the ins-and-outs or shortcuts for what paints to use on canvases. So, I used a foam brush to paint the dark brown paint on these canvases. It took forever. Next time I'll buy some spray paint to save loads of time.

I can't remember where I got the inspiration for the designs, but this sort of design has been my favorite for awhile. (***I found the link that inspired me: It's the MUJKA ILLUSTRATION BLOG.) Anything with swirly stems, leaves, etc. floats my boat. So, here's the set, hanging above my bed, and a close-up of each:

Family Photo

2008-12-27T14:03:00.003-07:00

It's pretty rare for us to have any pictures around with both of us in them, especially those taken by other people. So, on Christmas Day, I had Patrick's sister take a picture for/of us. I think we make a pretty cute couple.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!!!

Christmas Memory

2008-12-27T09:26:00.003-07:00

One of my favorite memories of Christmas as a child was reading Luke 2 as a family on Christmas Eve. And eating oranges that my dad would peel for us. :) He had a special knife he would use, and we would patiently wait for another orange to eat. My dad is awesome.

A blog I follow, Design Mom, posted this cute nativity that the children in her church participated in. It's narrated by one girl, and filled with photography of the different scenes. The sheep are my favorite. It's so very cute...check it out:

Denver

2008-12-10T01:57:00.002-07:00

I arrived in Denver on Monday to open up the new downtown Ling & Louie's. It's a brand new experience for me, which is exciting. It's also a big honor and privilege that I was selected from all the servers to represent the restaurant where I work. I really love being a server and doing my job well. I hope I can transfer that passion to the servers I train.

This morning my sister picked up me and another server I work with, Makayla, and we went to breakfast. It is really nice to see my sis again. I miss living close to family, and I really miss living close to my sis. I'm excited to get to spend time with her while I'm here.

I'll try to post little updates about my experience. For now, I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long and full day!!

I can't wait for Lost Season 5!!!!

2008-12-03T20:10:00.001-07:00

Patrick got me hooked on this show. I'd embarrass myself if I openly admitted the hours I spent in front of the tv and computer catching up on all of the seasons. :)

A couple photos from Phoenix

2008-12-02T00:41:00.001-07:00

Our family went to the park on the Friday after Thanksgiving. My sis-in-law snapped these shots. I figured I'd put them on here as a reminder to me to 1) suck in my belly more often, 2) enjoy the sun as I did during my nap, and 3) lose 30 lbs.

That's all. :)

Vintage Gift Idea

2008-12-01T20:22:00.002-07:00

I'm pretty sure I've posted this picture before, but I need to remind myself of this project. My creative juices are flowing in regards to this one!!

This is a collection of vintage multi-stamp transfers of old cars. My husband is a vintage freak and an old-car freak. This would be an awesome project to do for him. I just can't decide if I should do a wall hanging or a quilt.

My mom and her neighbor have been playing with her neighbor's humongous quilting machine. This thing takes up an entire room, and they've done some amazing work on quilts my mom has made. She is finishing a project and asked me if I want it. I am so wishing I had a camera so I could have taken some pictures. It's so pretty. I just don't have a lot of space. So don't kill me, but I said no. She told me (and I knew) that she would rather it go to someone who really wants it and will treasure it. A lot of time has gone into that quilt.

So, I want to embroider the old car patterns, put it together as a quilt with some sweet vintage fabrics, and have my mom and her neighbor quilt it. I'm giving myself 12-18 months for this project. :) Either next Christmas, or a year from Patrick's birthday sounds like a reasonable timeline.

Thanksgiving Report

2008-12-01T20:15:00.002-07:00

I posted a summary of our Thanksgiving trip to Phoenix on our Family blog:

Thanksgiving in Phoenix

It was a great trip. :)

Lemonade and Thanksgiving

2008-11-23T21:31:00.005-07:00

I haven't posted in awhile, I know. I've been a little preoccupied with posting about my health on a little blog I started up for that specific purpose. It is:

I Make Lemonade

I figured a good name for the website was "When Life Gives Me Lemons..." and the website is "I Make Lemonade." Clever. I know. :)

So, I'm pretty sure I have rheumatoid arthritis, and it sucks. That's been the focal point of my life for the last month. If you have any experience or advice, I'd love to hear about it! I started the blog to journal the physical challenges and growth, as well as the emotional challenges and growth. Turns out, there will be some relationship challenges and growth as well. So, check it out if you want. You might end up thinking I'm a total weenie after reading it, but that's okay. I know I'm a tough girl...I'm just trying to be really honest in my journaling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patrick and I are driving down to Phoenix to spend Thanksgiving with my parents and siblings. I'm excited to see them. We were last down there for Christmas last year. This time of year, I miss the heat sooooo much! We'll be down there from Wednesday through Sunday, then Patrick will drive back to Utah Sunday so he can be back to work on Monday. Monday morning I fly to Denver to help open a new restaurant. I thoroughly enjoy training, so I'm quite excited about this opportunity. I'm hopefully finding a camera soon, so I'll post pictures of the adventures I'll be having over the next 3 weeks. :)

Me at a Halloween Party

2008-11-11T13:13:00.001-07:00

Not the greatest picture, but it gives you an idea of the look I went for. :)

Summit 2008

2008-11-10T23:45:00.002-07:00

Saturday I went to my Mary Kay area's Summit Conference in downtown Salt Lake City. I'm glad I went. The recognition part got a little old, but that's mostly because I hadn't eaten breakfast and my head was throbbing. I'm sure if I was one of the people who had worked my butt off and was getting recognized, I would have been super excited to keep clapping and cheering. :) (Just a little perspective there!)

The training part of it was really good. I've always loved training. Deanna Spillman was one of our trainers, and I absolutely love hearing from her. She is so to-the-point about everything, and I love it.

For lunch, my Director, Amy Walker, and I went to Thaifoon to eat. I love eating there on days when I don't work. It's just funny to have my coworkers serve me. :) The food was great. It was Amy's first time there, so it was a good culinary experience.

My favorite part of the whole day was the very end. A Director's 8 year old daughter sang a song for all of us. I can't remember what it was called, but holy cow!! Her voice was beautiful. She was so confident. She was so adorable. She was just amazing. I totally teared up. I can't wait to have my own kids around that age who have talents, personality, and so much to share with the world. It made me think of my own nephews and nieces, two of which are in that age range, and they are so stinkin' smart and talented. I can't wait to see them all in Phoenix for Thanksgiving.

A couple of inspirational points I took to heart from Summit:

*Am I a Victim or a Victor?
This idea was first presented to me months ago by a person I met during the Usana Conference in Salt Lake City. What was to him a business presentation of the company turned out to be a totally philosophical and spiritual conversation about life. It was a conversation I will always cherish and that I think of often when thinking about my own Mary Kay business.

*Be consistent with customer service.
Something I know I need to work on.

*Let go of something, even just ONE thing, that is taking away from time I spend on my business, like tv, internet, etc.

*Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream!!!!!!

*Set detailed goals.
Vision without action is fantasy.
Action without vision produces drudgery.
Action with viction results in Victory.

*My goals:
1. Red Jacket by end of November 2008
2. Team Leader & On Target for Car by end of January 2009
3. Submit DIQ by end of March 2009
4. Debut as a Director by June 15th 2009

So, that was the highlight of my weekend. Grocery shopping with Patrick was fun, too, but didn't light the fire under my bum like Summit did. :)

Please Pray for Molasses

2008-11-07T00:10:00.001-07:00

Here's a link to an online blogger-friend's post about her sweet dog. Check it out, and say a little prayer for Mo.

Molasses

Post 100!!!!

2008-11-04T12:09:00.004-07:00

This is my 100th post in my blog! That's pretty awesome! And what a perfect number for such an important post:

Today is the day to vote! Go do it! Personally, I need to get in the shower first, then I'll head over. I hear the middle of the day is usually the best time to go. :)

Use your voice...cast your vote!

More Shoes!

2008-11-03T19:33:00.002-07:00

For the one Halloween party I was able to go to this year, I dressed up as a pin-up girl. My camera is down and out, so I didn't get any pictures. :( When I get a new camera, I'll dress up again, just so I can post a picture. I looked good. Patrick was in heaven. I had a navy dress with white polka dots, red wedged heels, pearl necklace and earrings, and I watched a ton of YouTube videos on how to do pin-up style hair, so I rolled my bangs, pinned up the sides of my hair, and curled it all. It took forever, but it paid off! Everyone said I looked fabulous. Oh, and let's not forget the eyeliner with wings and the beautiful red lipstick. :)

So, now that Patrick has seen that I can pull off the pin-up look really well, I'm going to have to start adding this style to my wardrobe. I don't know about you, but I think SHOES are a fabulous place to start!!!

Patrick says I need these shoes.

I'd be okay with that. :)

I Like:

Cosette
by Gabriella Rocha

I really like these too:

I Like:

Calypso
by Sofft

Patrick likes these:

I Like:

Devyn
by Gabriella Rocha

I think these are FUN:

I Like:

Marquee
by Nine West

Another one Patrick likes:

I Like:

Felicia
by Fitzwell

He LOVES these too:

I Like:

Abbey
by rsvp

I love the polka dots and the height of the heel on this shoe:

I Like:

Heaven
by Gabriella Rocha

This is an awesome shoe. I could buy this shoe in about 5 different colors or patterns!

I Like:

Sherene
by Naturalizer

I liked this shoe, although it looks a little puffy. :)

I Like:

Alexys
by Gabriella Rocha

And last but not least, Patrick likes these. I think they're awesome!

I Like:

Cristal
by Gabriella Rocha

So, someday when I have a ton of excess money laying around, I'll buy a bunch of super sexy shoes that could be used in a more pin-upy wardrobe. :)

A bibbin, A bobbin

2008-11-01T19:32:00.003-06:00

Just the other day I was contemplating how in the heck does a bobbin work? I've used sewing machines all my life, but never really put too much thought into the mechanics of it all. As long as I could thread the machine and get the stitch width and tension right, I was good to go.

Interestingly enough, I just found a gif of a bobbin in motion that explains it all! Here it is!!

Makes perfect sense now, doesn't it?!

A Couple of TALENTED Friends

2008-11-01T18:33:00.002-06:00

Josh Steadman

One of Josh's pieces you'll find on his blog. This is beautiful.

Will Varner
Will's artwork is all copyrighted really well, so click on his name to check it out. He actually painted one of our old boss's wall in the backyard with a beautiful mural. He does great work. I particularly love the piece titled Peace.

I had the privilege of working with both of these guys at Outback Therapeutic Expeditions. Not only were they fabulous coworkers, talented in affecting teenagers' lives in a positive way, but they are both talented artists as well. Just click on their names to check out some of their great work!!

Elliot and Molly's adoption profile...please take a look

2008-11-01T11:17:00.003-06:00

Please visit this site to see an amazing family
adopting through LDS family services

Getting the word out and increasing the exposure of their adoption profile is a great way to help Elliot and Molly on their journey to adoption. These are some of the best kind of people I know. Intelligent, funny, sincere, kind, loving, strong, giving, faithful, and loyal. I am blessed to know both of them.

Please take a minute to check out their profile and post a link on your blog to help spread the word. Thanks!!

Kolob

2008-10-24T00:23:00.004-06:00

I was talking to my sister the other day about a movie she watched with her boyfriend and his dad and step-mom. I can't remember what it was called, but it led my sis and I to a conversation about Kolob. Now, I don't have a whole lot of knowledge about this subject, but I told her I loved the hymn "If You Could Hie to Kolob." She couldn't remember the song, so here's a version I found on YouTube that's rocked out:

I really dig this rocked out version of the hymn. Some people think it's irreverent to cover a hymn with a rockin' twist, but I think, "hey, if it makes people able to relate to it a bit more, why not?!"

So, I think this version of the song is great. Take it or leave it. :)

**A little side note from this post:

Do you think that people who have faith or believe in God and/or are active in a religion are weak or stupid for believing in something that can't be proven?

My 2 cents on Politics

2008-10-21T15:41:00.003-06:00

With two weeks left until the polls are open, there's a lot on my mind.

First of all, I am so grateful to be an American. This country was founded on great principles, most importantly (to me) freedom of religion and speech.

I am going to vote for McCain/Palin. Their platform and values are much more similar to my own values.

I feel bad for whomever does get voted in. There are a lot of messes that need cleaning up and it certainly won't be easy.

I have faith that regardless of who gets voted in, America will be okay. I pray that America survives intact and continues to value freedom of religion and speech.

It irks me that Christians are opposed in so many areas of life. It also irks me that other faiths and beliefs are strongly opposed by radical Christians. America is a tapestry woven with people with infinite backgrounds, beliefs, experience, etc. I will never stop saying the Pledge of Allegiance with God in it, and appreciate that "In God We Trust" is on our currency. I respect all faiths and beliefs, and hope that others will respect mine.

I'm tired of people being dogmatic and thinking that we all need to think the same way. If that happened, we'd be a Communist nation, and it would flat out suck.

No politician running for the office of president is a 100% perfect candidate. This is why it is important for people to vote for the candidate that has ideas and values that are most similar to the voter.

It is unfortunate that a lot of people base their vote on what is trendy, popular, supported by Hollywood, etc. There is a lot of information available about these candidates, and taking the time to actually read about these people is important. People who can only spew out garbage about the "other party's" candidates are wasting everyone's time. If you don't know what the candidate you support is all about, you need to do more reading and ask more questions.

Anyone who is passionately anti-anything isn't someone I want to associate with. There is too much good in this life to focus on negatives.

I love this country. I love that I am able to vote.

God bless America, and God bless this election.

Such Sexy Shoes

2008-10-20T14:43:00.001-06:00

I am totally loving these shoes. I've been on a sexy shoe kick lately, and Patrick is a huge fan of Mary Janes. So...when I see a Mary Jane style shoe with some pizazz, I'm quite naturally excited.

These shoes would look fabulous on me.

I Like:

Dyana
by Nine West

Total Random Thought

2008-10-15T23:31:00.002-06:00

There's a store at the mall where I work called Lola Bella. One day during a break I was outside enjoying the day and noticed this little boutique. My mom's name is Lola, and I think it would be absolutely adorable if we had a daughter to name her Lola Bella Largin. Freaking cute, I say!

Norah Jones

2008-10-15T22:38:00.002-06:00

I am in such a major Norah Jones mood tonight.

Norah Jones has one of the most beautiful female voices I've ever heard. I really enjoy listening to her when I need to take a deep breath in life and gather myself for the next step. The only thing that would make it a better listening experience would be a hot bath.

Monogrammed Handkerchief How To !!!!!!!

2008-10-14T19:06:00.000-06:00

Monogrammed Handkerchief How To !!!!!!!

This is such a great tutorial for a sweet little gift that wouldn't be too time or resource consuming. I think I'll be adding this to my handmade gifts this Christmas!

More Dramatic Eyes

2008-10-14T17:52:00.004-06:00

I did my makeup a little different today, so I felt like taking a picture. I realized (after looking at this close-up of my face) that my eyes are wide set. This means the space between the eyes is equal to or greater than the width of an eye. I could be paranoid, but it looks like a lot of nose/bridge between those baby blues:

I used spun silk, cinnabar, espresso, and coal eye shadows, black eye liner, and black ultimate mascara.
Also, strawberry cream blush, but you can't really see that too well in the picture.
I need some color on my lips, too.

I don't think it's as noticeable with my hair more done (okay, I didn't really do my hair, I just put a headband on) and not so close to the camera:

I must say, I look pretty good for my age. :)

(This is my vain post for awhile...it could've been worse...I could have posted fitness update pictures!!! eeewww!)

My mantra today

2008-10-08T09:59:00.000-06:00

Life is Good and I am Happy

Zen

2008-10-06T16:44:00.002-06:00

Apparently I'm into lists today. I found this list of Lessons from a Zen Master on the Tracy Stokes website.

Lessons from a Zen Master

Soyen Shaku was the first Zen Buddhist master to teach in the United States and became the leading academic on Zen Buddhism in the West. In 1893 he taught about karma, non-violence, an end to war, and tolerance of other religions. He also lived his life by 10 simple rules, that have inspired me greatly in my practice (life), although I struggle terribly with number 1 (and number 2, and number 3…).

1. Upon awakening, quit your bed at once, like discarding a useless pair of shoes.
2. In the morning, before dressing, light incense and meditate.
3. Eat at regular intervals and only to the point of satisfying hunger.
4. Retire at a regular hour.
5. Receive a guest as when you are alone. Be alone as if you had received a guest.
6. Be aware of what you say. Say only what you would do.
7. Do not forego opportunity, nevertheless, think twice.
8. Do not regret the past but look instead to the future.
9. Have the fearless heart of a hero and the loving heart of a child.
10. When you retire to sleep do so as if it is your last night.

Photo credit: shioshvili

Personally, I struggle with almost all of these. I have a long way to go.

Ten Rules for Being Human

2008-10-06T14:12:00.002-06:00

Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott

1.	You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2.	You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3.	There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4.	Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5.	Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6.	"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7.	Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8.	What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9.	Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10.	You will forget all this.

I found this on a website called My Success Company. I don't really know what's on the website, but I liked this list of "rules" for being human. It makes sense to me!

100 Things

2008-10-06T00:25:00.004-06:00

My name is Alison.
My dad didn't like the name when my parents were deciding what to name me.
I don't have a middle name.
My parents changed the spelling of my name a couple weeks after I was born, from "Allison."
I grew up in Phoenix.
I lived in the same house for over 21 years.
I have 3 older brothers and 1 younger sister.
I have lived in Arizona, Idaho, and Utah.
In Arizona, I lived in Phoenix, Peoria, and Chandler.
In Idaho, I lived in Buhl.
In Utah, I lived in Alpine, Spanish Fork, Midvale, Murray, and Salt Lake City.
I used to camp with "at-risk" youth for a living.
That was, and probably always will be, my favorite job.
I attended Arizona State University and Utah Valley State College, now Utah Valley University.
My major is Psychology.
I graduated high school in 1997.
I played volleyball and softball in high school.
I had a 3.9 GPA when I graduated and was 5th in my class.
I still have 12 credits to finish my bachelors degree.
I was married to a police officer for almost 3 years.
My marriage didn't work out.
I am now married to a super smart man who can do just about anything, including fixing my car!
I have a step-daughter from my previous marriage.
I have 4 nephews and 5 nieces, all at or under the age of 8.
My parents are still married.
My oldest brother is deaf.
He was raised orally and didn't learn sign language until he was about 20 years old.
I took American Sign Language at ASU so I could sign with my brother.
My signing is horrible, but I try.
I have around 60 or 70 cousins.
My grandfathers are still alive.
I have had 7 grandmothers, 6 of which have passed on.
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
I love to sleep.
I am a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant.
I love food.
I play recreational slow-pitch softball.
My husband and I have 3 cats.
I own a purple 1968 Schwinn Breeze Deluxe.
I had my first job when I was 8 years old, helping my brothers with their paper route for $ .01 per paper.
I want to have at least 3 children.
I love to watch movies.
I love music.
I don't know names of bands, singers, actors, etc.
I rarely buy new clothes.
I like to embroider and do other crafty projects.
I am a "mellow" person with an energy that calms others.
My astrological sign is Cancer.
I was born on the same day as my brother who is 2 years older than me.
My younger sister was born 2 years later on the day before our birthday.
I like jewelry.
I used to have gauged earrings that I wore for 6 or 7 years.
I have a lot of different earrings now.
My wedding ring is turquoise and opal.
I am 5'2".
I am a waitress at a restaurant in Salt Lake City.
I have owned one car in my life, and I've had it since 2001.
My car turned 10 this year.
I spend way too much time on the internet.
I'm not allergic to any foods.
I played the violin for 6 years, and a bit here and there for a few more years.
I still have my violin, and I can't play it anymore.
I am a great listener.
I have been to Alaska.
The only place out of the country I have visited is Tijuana.
I don't have a passport.
I want to go to New Zealand.
I want to go to Machu Picchu.
I want to do my own pilgrimage of the road to Santiago.
Paulo Coelho is my favorite author.
The Alchemist is my favorite book.
Closed-minded people disgust me.
Generalizations piss me off.
Disrespect angers me.
I believe everyone has a choice how to feel and react to any given situation.
Because of that belief, I frustrate myself a lot.
I like to sing.
I like to read.
I wish I was more confident and more of a free spirit.
My husband doesn't like to dance.
I do.
I don't like watching tv very often.
We watch a lot of tv.
I believe in energy, vibrations, karma, prayer, divine intervention, and the power of love.
I want to lose 30 lbs.
I have hiked the Grand Canyon 6 times with my dad.
I think teenagers are amazing people at a critical cross-roads in life.
I want to be a therapist and work with teenagers.
I think parents need to relax a bit.
I'm not a parent, so what do I know?
I snort when I laugh sometimes.
I have a cute nose.
I love my eyes.
I love my chest.
I say "woof" instead of "wolf."
I am an emotional woman.
I have a pretty crass sense of humor.
I run late for just about everything.
I adore my grandfathers and love my parents.
My hero is Zina Coates...you don't know her, but she was an incredible woman.

General Conference Thoughts

2008-10-04T11:18:00.004-06:00

I was doing my daily blog reading and a friend of mine, Jon, was posting his notes on the morning session of the LDS General Conference. His notes are on his blog Pitching In and Catching On. I think it's great that Jon took the time to log the highlights of the talks given.

So, I found myself inspired to tune into Conference. I LOVE modern technology. As a child, we would watch Conference on tv at home, and usually get dressed and watch the Sunday morning session at church via satellite transmission. Now, you can watch Conference live on the internet. That is amazing and wonderful.

I'm not the best at making sure I watch all of Conference, but I do make an effort to listen to or watch what I can. And the bits and pieces I see or hear always move me.

One of my fond memories of Conference is watching my dad and brothers get ready on Saturday evening and go to the Priesthood Session at 7pm. They had a tradition of going to the session together and going out for dessert afterward. As a teenager, it seemed like such a sacrifice for my brothers to miss out on a fun and exciting weekend night to do something churchy, but I realize now, as an adult, what a great opportunity it was for them.

I savor every occasion I had and will ever have to spend time with my dad, especially when those occasions include something where we can be united in our faith and knowledge that we are an eternal family. Now that my dad is older, and a grandfather, he is so much more open about sharing his love for the gospel and Jesus Christ with us. He did share it when we were younger, too, but I'm sure his perspective of eternal families is so much more rich and comprehensive with such a beautiful growing family.

My parents, Jack and Lola, December 2007

My dad is becoming more and more like his dad, my grandpa Mecham. Years ago, at a family gathering, we were all over at the church playing volleyball, and my grandpa sat down next to me, watching everyone play. In that room sat my grandpa, my dad and his siblings, their children, and their children. Four generations of such a beautiful and wonderful family playing volleyball together. I asked my grandpa what it was like, to see his posterity all gathered together in one room. He got teary-eyed and expressed the great love he has for all of us and his great desire for each and every family member to live a righteous life and to be an eternal family. Seeing my cute old grandpa tear up with love for his family and legacy quite obviously made me tear up. I'll never forget that moment. I love him dearly.

So, opportunities to be reminded of my family, our values, and my great love for it all are always welcome. Here's one little quote from Conference that I liked:

Faith, hope, and charity lead us to abound in good works.

I hope to always live a life that includes good works. I truly believe that when it's all boiled down, that is what matters...being unselfish and doing what we can to bless the lives of others. That's when we are blessed the most.

excerpt

2008-09-23T16:25:00.003-06:00

Something I just read and really liked in As A Woman Thinketh:

She who would accomplish little must sacrifice little;
she who would achieve much must sacrifice much;
she who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly.

Lotus Pillow

2008-09-23T15:22:00.008-06:00

***The pictures from my phone were deleted for whatever reason,
so I uploaded this picture. Hopefully it stays. :)
It's not the greatest picture, but it gets the idea across. ***

My camera is still suffering from a major attitude problem, so I took pictures of my latest completed craft with my phone...I'll have to figure out how to edit these pictures. Until then, here are some side-ways shots of a pillow I made with my lotus flower embroidery for a friend's birthday. It turned out really cute!

I worked on it on Sunday at "craft day" with a few friends. I've got a great craft/project idea in mind to decorate our bedroom. I'm glad I found a group of crafty gals to hang out with!!