Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I just wanted to quickly express my thanks for the many blessings I have been given.

I am so blessed to have a great husband who loves me and supports me. I think I appreciate this blessing so much more than I otherwise would, because once upon a time I had a husband who did not support me, and I question whether or not he truly loved me. So, Patrick, thank you so much for being such a loving, patient, and forgiving husband. :) You are truly amazing.

I am very grateful for my wonderful family. I love my parents and my siblings, their spouses, and my beautiful nephews and nieces. All of my in-laws, too! I missed sharing this holiday with my family (especially mom's baking...Rolls to Die For), though I am also very blessed to have great friends who invited Patrick and me to their home for the feast. The rolls weren't my mom's, but they were still tasty. The turkey dressed in bacon and then baked was soooooo good!!

Which leads me to my friends. Great friends are one of life's most precious treasures. And I have a sack full of treasures!

I am grateful that I chose to take part in being an Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay back in May of 2006. I cannot explain what a blessing this has been in my life. I have met so many people and found amazing mentors who have influenced my life for the good. The extra income is great, but I have to be honest - the life changes have been priceless. I anxiously anticipate the good things to come in my life through this great opportunity!

I am eternally thankful for my testimony of God's love for me. Boy have I been a screwed up person, and thank goodness Jesus Christ has made it possible for me to move beyond the screwed up version of me. :) I find so much peace knowing that all things are possible when God is involved, including becoming a better person. Just like with family...I cannot thoroughly put into words how blessed I am because of this knowledge. :)

I am grateful for the beautiful home we live in, our 3 kitties who make me so happy, and the food on our table. I live a good life. And it is all due to God's hand. Thank you!

Now I am going to go eat some more pie. (I'll post recipes for the Rolls to Die For and Pumpkin Cheesecake Pie soon! They are divine!!)

the voice of life, the voice of Being, of perpetual Becoming

I'm almost done with Women Who Love Too Much, and I think I will immediately read it again. This book has been amazing for me. Amazing enough to help me smile this morning when I was told how to do laundry...a smile, chuckle, and then, "you know, you can do your own damn laundry." Mmm...it felt good.

I'm also almost done with Siddhartha. I can see why this book is a favorite for some of my favorite authors. I can see how it has influenced their works, or at least aligned with their thought processes anyway.

"Often they sat together in the evening on the tree trunk by the river. They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, of perpetual Becoming. And it sometimes happened that while listening to the river, they both thought the same thoughts, perhaps of a conversation of the previous day, or about on of the travelers whose fate and circumstances occupied their minds, or death, or their childhood; and when the river told them something good at the same moment, they looked at each other, both thinking the same thought, both happy at the same answer to the same question."

Herman Hesse, Siddartha p. 108

When I am able to have this quality of relationship with a person, I feel ridiculously blessed. I met a handful of people like this at Outback, getting to know them intimately while spending a week at a time in the wilderness. Oh, how I miss that job.

I dated a guy like that, too. I miss the nights we would sit outside, stare at the stars in silence and just be on the same page.

I want that.

The brief moments where the stars align and being is experienced lately have been wonderful. Very wonderful.

I'm excited about this stage of my journey. Good things are happening.

The Power of Intention

The Secrets of the Power of Intention: Live Lecture by Wayne W. Dyer

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This lecture has been such a positive influence on my life. I lent it to my sister, and I miss having it in my car to keep me focused on what is most important. I HIGHLY recommend this lecture to anyone and everyone.


View all my reviews.

On a Positive Note...

I need to have more positive notes.

Have you heard of Dr. Wayne Dyer? I first heard of him around 4-5 years ago (really? that long ago??) when I worked at Outback Therapeutic Expeditions. I got my hands on his CD lecture, The Power of Intention. I listened to the 6 CD's over and over and over. At the time, I had a 30 minute commute each way to work, so it was a great time to listen and ponder what I was hearing. Whenever I was listening to that collection, my life felt so much more focused. I felt at peace. I felt hope. These are totally different feeling words than I used in my last post. :)

Yesterday I was doing some cleaning and Dr. Wayne Dyer was on PBS promoting his newest lecture and books. This one is called Excuses Begone! The book was published this May, so the PBS special was excerpts from a lecture he gave, and they were raising money for PBS by selling his books and CD's. It was a great program. The little bit that I heard was TOTALLY what I needed to hear. He talked about the 18 most commonly used excuses that all of us use way too frequently when we settle for less.

• I Can't Afford It
• It's Going to be Risky
• It Will Take a Long Time
• I'm too Busy
• It Will be Difficult
• There Will be Family Drama
• I Don't Deserve It
• It's Not My Nature
• No One Will Help Me
• It Has Never Happened Before
• I'm Not Strong Enough
• I'm Not Smart Enough
• I'm Too Old (or Not Old Enough)
• The Rules Won't Let Me
• It's Too Big
• I Don't Have the Energy
• It's My Personal Family History
• I'm Too Scared

I really want to get the book and CD collection and really take the time to quit using these excuses in my life (including my current frustrating situation).

I believe that our thoughts dictate the direction and the quality of our experience in this world. I just need to put that belief into practice, so it becomes concrete knowledge. A great place for me to start is with how I think about myself and about Patrick, though I really do feel that focusing on myself is the true starting point.

Oh, I have so much work to do...


P.S. Daily Inspiration from Dr. Wayne Dyer!

P. P. S. Sorry no pictures. I need to start loving my camera again. I know I actually take time to look at and read posts when there's at least one picture. I'm such a hypocrite! ;)

A day late

Yesterday was an odd day for me. For several reasons:

1) Patrick's mom stopped by after her flight landed in SLC. She had been visiting her sister in California. I love seeing Jana and talking with her. I don't think I was prepared to tell her Happy Mother's Day or anything, though. I know it's not hard to say the words, but my whole day felt very off, so I couldn't put the heart behind the words. And Patrick may or may not have told her Happy Mother's Day, and if he did, it was probably minimized as much as possible. So, if I put forth a stronger message of love and appreciation than her own son....it's just weird. And it would be fine if he didn't get so bugged when I do communicate my love and appreciation for his mom.

***WHY do husbands think that their wife has to adopt their feelings toward their family??? I experienced this with my ex-husband, too, and it is DAMN annoying!

2) I didn't even call my own mom. How crappy is that? I didn't do it intentionally. I forgot. Like I said, yesterday wasn't the greatest, and I was consumed in my own frustrations and self-pity. Not good, but that's where I was. I will certainly call the little lady this morning and apologize profusely. (I'm a crappy daughter sometimes.)

3) I have been at a crossroad in my life, metaphorically speaking, that is, for quite some time. I am SICK of it! Yesterday was one of those days that just rubbed my nose in the fact that my life is okay, mediocre, average, and ordinary. And that just sucks. My life isn't meant to be those things. It is meant to be remarkable, extraordinary, meaningful, focused, driven, successful, loving, cherished, and blessed. The only thing between where it is now and where it should be, unfortunately, is ME. *sigh*

4) We're moving this month. This is great and all, but moving is stressful for me, and right now, I need to be focusing on other things. Reality bites. I'm going to be the whip cracker to get this done (aka getting Patrick to go through his shit). This role wears me out. And while I'm excited for this new home, I'm a little worried. Patrick's friend, Chris, is moving in with us. He's a great guy, and I like him a lot. Patrick swears that Chris is a clean person, but Patrick thinks that he is a clean person. I don't want another adult man to pick up after. Is that too much to ask? And for some reason, I can't figure out how to get Patrick to get things done without turning into a naggy, angry, bitter, resentful bitch. That is so not me! Can't we all just look around and pitch in every day????? Is that too much to ask???? And I'm hoping that having another person around won't be a strain on our already strained relationship. I guess we'll just see how it goes.

5) The best part of my day was watching last week's episode of Grey's Anatomy while I put laundry away. I love that show. Quite naturally, I cried. It sucks that Izzie is going to die (most likely, anyway), but I suppose Katherine Heigl asked for it. What a great show. It at least made the "love" part of my heart a little warm. Thank goodness tv fills in for the inadequacies of real life, eh? :)

Okay, I realize this post is really negative, pessimistic, and a load of crappy venting. But guess what? It had to be done. It's out, and I feel a little bit better. Like I told my mom when we were in Arizona at the beginning of the month, "All I can do is my best. I can't predict the outcome of anything, so in the meantime, I take care of myself, and do my very best." So, it's time I start doing it.

Today's WOW moment:

Well, a TON of people have heard about Susan Boyle who performed on Britain's Got Talent last week. I hadn't heard of her until tonight, and her performance is surprising. Like getting surprised with a present when you're totally not expecting it. The song is I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables. The song is kind of sad/depressing, but the fact that this not-so-attractive 47 year old just tears it up blows me away. Watching the audience and the judges go from cynical and judgmental to entirely blown away is a trip. This woman inspires me.

Here's the link to the video on YouTube: Susan Boyle



What did you think?

My 2 cents on Politics

With two weeks left until the polls are open, there's a lot on my mind.

First of all, I am so grateful to be an American. This country was founded on great principles, most importantly (to me) freedom of religion and speech.

I am going to vote for McCain/Palin. Their platform and values are much more similar to my own values.

I feel bad for whomever does get voted in. There are a lot of messes that need cleaning up and it certainly won't be easy.

I have faith that regardless of who gets voted in, America will be okay. I pray that America survives intact and continues to value freedom of religion and speech.

It irks me that Christians are opposed in so many areas of life. It also irks me that other faiths and beliefs are strongly opposed by radical Christians. America is a tapestry woven with people with infinite backgrounds, beliefs, experience, etc. I will never stop saying the Pledge of Allegiance with God in it, and appreciate that "In God We Trust" is on our currency. I respect all faiths and beliefs, and hope that others will respect mine.

I'm tired of people being dogmatic and thinking that we all need to think the same way. If that happened, we'd be a Communist nation, and it would flat out suck.

No politician running for the office of president is a 100% perfect candidate. This is why it is important for people to vote for the candidate that has ideas and values that are most similar to the voter.

It is unfortunate that a lot of people base their vote on what is trendy, popular, supported by Hollywood, etc. There is a lot of information available about these candidates, and taking the time to actually read about these people is important. People who can only spew out garbage about the "other party's" candidates are wasting everyone's time. If you don't know what the candidate you support is all about, you need to do more reading and ask more questions.

Anyone who is passionately anti-anything isn't someone I want to associate with. There is too much good in this life to focus on negatives.

I love this country. I love that I am able to vote.

God bless America, and God bless this election.

General Conference Thoughts

I was doing my daily blog reading and a friend of mine, Jon, was posting his notes on the morning session of the LDS General Conference. His notes are on his blog Pitching In and Catching On. I think it's great that Jon took the time to log the highlights of the talks given.

So, I found myself inspired to tune into Conference. I LOVE modern technology. As a child, we would watch Conference on tv at home, and usually get dressed and watch the Sunday morning session at church via satellite transmission. Now, you can watch Conference live on the internet. That is amazing and wonderful.

I'm not the best at making sure I watch all of Conference, but I do make an effort to listen to or watch what I can. And the bits and pieces I see or hear always move me.

One of my fond memories of Conference is watching my dad and brothers get ready on Saturday evening and go to the Priesthood Session at 7pm. They had a tradition of going to the session together and going out for dessert afterward. As a teenager, it seemed like such a sacrifice for my brothers to miss out on a fun and exciting weekend night to do something churchy, but I realize now, as an adult, what a great opportunity it was for them.

I savor every occasion I had and will ever have to spend time with my dad, especially when those occasions include something where we can be united in our faith and knowledge that we are an eternal family. Now that my dad is older, and a grandfather, he is so much more open about sharing his love for the gospel and Jesus Christ with us. He did share it when we were younger, too, but I'm sure his perspective of eternal families is so much more rich and comprehensive with such a beautiful growing family.

My parents, Jack and Lola, December 2007

My dad is becoming more and more like his dad, my grandpa Mecham. Years ago, at a family gathering, we were all over at the church playing volleyball, and my grandpa sat down next to me, watching everyone play. In that room sat my grandpa, my dad and his siblings, their children, and their children. Four generations of such a beautiful and wonderful family playing volleyball together. I asked my grandpa what it was like, to see his posterity all gathered together in one room. He got teary-eyed and expressed the great love he has for all of us and his great desire for each and every family member to live a righteous life and to be an eternal family. Seeing my cute old grandpa tear up with love for his family and legacy quite obviously made me tear up. I'll never forget that moment. I love him dearly.

So, opportunities to be reminded of my family, our values, and my great love for it all are always welcome. Here's one little quote from Conference that I liked:

Faith, hope, and charity lead us to abound in good works.

I hope to always live a life that includes good works. I truly believe that when it's all boiled down, that is what matters...being unselfish and doing what we can to bless the lives of others. That's when we are blessed the most.

Uncorked

Have you seen any great movies? How about your top list of amazing movies? One movie that is on my list of "WOW Movies" is "Uncorked." This little clip is from near the very end of the movie and has a guitar solo that I think is pretty sweet.



Seriously, this is a great movie to see. It's a tough one to find, though. Only one of all the Hollywood Video stores in all of Utah county had it. I was able to get it through Blockbuster Online so my hubby could see it a year ago. Unfortunately, it's not really on sale anywhere, and anywhere that is selling it has the price marked up super high.

Anyway, what I love about this movie is that it tells a story of a man who wants a certain life so badly...riches, comfort, etc. The way he is pursuing these desires, though, is a dead end. Through the insight of his eccentric uncle, life is given new clarity and new meaning.

I really relate to the man's resistance to the natural path. It's a challenge when you really think or feel that life is going to unfold a certain way, and (as we all probably know by now) at what seems the most inopportune moment, it all comes crumbling down. We are left confused, disparaged, disheartened, and wondering what to do.

In all that chaos, something beautiful is simultaneously developing. The moment where a choice can be made, new direction taken, and forward momentum created. Whether it is a movie, book, new acquaintace, etc., I absolutely thrive on anything which has subject matter gravitating around this concept.

I am currently reading "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen. It was recommended to me by someone I hardly know yet highly respect. The copy I purchased is titled "As a Woman Thinketh," and it is exactly the same other than using "woman," "she," "her," etc. instead of "he," "man," "his," etc. I've been questioned a couple times by different people as to how necessary it is to change from male to female pronouns, and at this point, I'm sticking to enjoying being a woman and reading a book that has been redirected toward women. (that was a total side-tanjent)


As a Man/Woman Thinketh talks about how these circumstances in life are the "equitable outworking of her evolving, yet unevolved self." WOW...seriously, WOW!!!! Life experiences are the result of our innermost thoughts. They are also opportunities for us to learn and reroute ourselves onto a higher path. And, the same circumstances/experiences will continue to resurface over and over again until we do learn the lesson and make the appropriate changes. WOW! I feel like I always knew this, but conveniently denied knowing it. It was in my head only, not where it matters most...in my heart.

One of my favorite quotes from this book nails personal accountability right on the head:

"Woman is buffetted by circumstances so long as she believes herself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when she realizes that she is a creative power, and that she may command the hidden soil and seeds of her being out of which circumstaces grow, she then becomes the rightful master of herself."

So, I'm totally in deep thought about "life's purpose" and deciding how I am going to change my thoughts so I can achieve my life's purpose. Movies, books, discussions....bring it on. I love this stuff!

Childhood Dreams

I found this video on another blog today. I have so much respect for Dr. Randy Pausch who is giving the lecture. The video is 10 minutes long, but so worth every second of your time!



Wasn't that awesome?!?!

Here's what I got from the video:

~ I need to start dreaming like a child again
~ My life needs to be LIVED...every day
~ I have been sooooooooooo incredibly selfish lately. I know this because I've been a lazy ass.

Laziness = selfishness

~ I can't predict the future, what's going to happen in my life, or how much time I have left. Therefore, I need to take action on each moment I have and be grateful for the multitude of opportunities to be a greater person living a more fulfilling life.
~ I need to express GRATITUDE more often....and really mean it via feeling it
~ Daily Affirmations need to be part of my life...I need to visualize my dreams

So, I'm ready to go to work. Instead of just thinking about being a mommy, I need to actively prepare myself physically, emotionally, financially, etc. Instead of thinking about how successful I could be in Mary Kay, I need to work and put in the effort that will reap the rewards. I need to look inward and strengthen who I am. I need to get to know my spiritual side again. It won't surface if I don't invite it and nurture it.

Cheers to moving forward!

Woo hoo!

I did it! I finished my Star!! It was a stretch, but I got it done, which is wonderful. :)

Now onto my next projects:

* Finish my Perfect Start this month (15 new faces/people/customers)
* Get all my paperwork together and get taxes filed ASAP (Patrick is getting more and more impatient by the minute! ...something about getting his hot rod finished...) :)

So, hopefully I'll have 1 new face tomorrow, and a few Saturday. That leaves about 10+ next week. Totally do-able.

* And I need to pull out an embroidery project. I'm jonesin' BAD!

Reaching for my Star

I just like posting my goals...makes them more real to me... So, I'm busting my butt to finish my Star for this quarter that ends on Sunday, the 15th. I'm $319.00 away from reaching it, but that doesn't scare me. :) I still have 2 days to get it done!

My goal for the rest of June is to get into car qualifications so I can soon be driving a free car, compliments of Mary Kay. This goal actually leads into my bigger goal, which is to have a consistent and lucrative business that will provide the income and opportunities that Patrick and I need, so we can start a family in the next few months. Yep, I want to have a baby! And I so badly want to have a baby before I turn 30, which is in a little over a year. So I have a lot of work to do...and I'm excited about it. :)

Yikes...it's been awhile!

It has been FAR too long since my last post!! May turned out to be a busy month. :) So, here's a quick report:

Mary Kay: After getting myself "active" again in April, I decided to make May a great month. I set a few goals: 30 brand new first-time facials, $1500 in sales, 2 new qualified team members, & 4 classes per week.

My first class and facials for the month were on May 18th. I had 14 people at that class!!! In the 2 weeks after that, I finished 30 first-time facials...brand new customers. That was freaking awesome. My sales came up to $1350 at the end of the month, I have 1 new team member that may place a $200 wholesale order, and I only did 3 classes in those 2 weeks, as well as a couple double-facials and a few facials.

I'd say that is amazing. To go from doing absolutely nothing with my Mary Kay business to making some good extra money the next month is pretty great. The flexibility of working my business when I want to is one of the biggest perks for me.

So, to keep the momentum rolling, I'm setting some bigger goals for June:
20 faces each week, 12 new team members, and earning my free car. If I don't finish the car, I'll at least be on target to finish my car.

Now, I KNOW that this is a hugely intense and seemingly overwhelming goal, however, I also KNOW that I thrive on having something big and meaningful to accomplish. Plus, it's the end of the Seminar year, and I'd like to show up in Dallas with my head held extra high. :) Now to register and get my flight arranged...




I am missing being crafty. I haven't picked up a needle and thread other than to sew on a button the other day. I need to work on some projects that need finishing. I'll get going on that (among my other big list of "things to do" and will get some pictures up here.

The Beginning

Last December when Patrick and I were visiting my family in Phoenix, my mom and I rummaged through her craft room. I borrowed some cute embroidery projects, coveted her fabric stash (super cute vintage fabrics!), and she gave me a cross stitch that I did as a kid. It most likely is the first cross stitch I ever did.

I remember in 2nd grade we had an after school project where my friend's mom taught us how to stitch. We had a simple little apple pattern where we did a running stitch in red around the border of the apple. I remember being excited about learning a new skill and wanting so badly for mine to look perfect. I chuckle now...I still feel that way when I start a new project. Anyway, that's the first time I remember stitching.

The cross stitch was probably sometime after that, so I was anywhere between 8 and 10, I'd guess. Here's the little beauty:



Now I need to figure out what I'm going to do with it. I could frame it, put it in a quilted/pieced block and frame it, put it on a pillow (the cats would mess it up, scratch that idea), who knows. I do want to put it up somewhere, though.

Another side note about the saying on the pattern: Make your own sunshine. ... I realize that even when I was a young child, I always understood that people are ultimately responsible for creating their own happiness. We choose to be happy...or not. Regardless of the circumstances, happiness is still a personal choice. My mom did such an incredible job teaching that principle to her children. Some of us absorbed it better than others, and I consider myself very blessed to understand it. I love my mom! :)

Thoughts

I just wanted to write down some thoughts I'm having...

I watched the morning session of General Conference today (yesterday, technically), and it was a really great session. Thomas S. Monson makes a great president and prophet. :) The two words that stuck with me the strongest from the whole session were by President Monson, "Come back." It resonated and still resonates in my heart and mind.

I love Spring. I love Easter, especially the meaning of the holiday. I'm reminded of the Atonement and how much Christ loves me. It's the time of year when I always feel like starting over, beginning again, resolving to do a little better.

The stagnant feeling I've had for so long is getting old...and stinky. I have so many dreams, hopes, plans, and beliefs about my potential. Why am I choosing to NOT tap into that positive energy and potential?? I need to let go of the burdens and beliefs that are holding me back. I know there is a greater me, not to mention a greater us with Patrick and me. I really don't want to have the pattern of stagnancy become as permanent as it did with the old ex. It becomes comfortable, then uncomfortable, yet a deep pit that is incredibly difficult to escape. With the ex I felt resentful that I had to be the pioneer in foraging our spiritual ground. What I didn't realize, and what I desperately need to remember is that I'm foraging my own spiritual ground. That's what matters most. Patrick will do the same as he is ready, and his readiness is not mine to own. It is solely his. So I guess what I'm saying is that I acknowledge my ownership and accountability for where I stand spiritually...in the past, here in the present, and in the future. No more blaming, no more hiding, no more waiting.

I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me. And I love Him.

The Bumblebee

I found this on Mary Kay's New Zealand website. It reminded me of why I started Mary Kay and why I will always be a part of Mary Kay... Although the principles of aerodynamics suggest the bumblebee cannot fly - its wings are too weak and its body too heavy - the bumblebee, not knowing this, flies anyway.

The bumblebee is a reminder that you can do anything you set your mind to. If someone suggests that something can't be done, the bumblebee is your inspiration to do it anyway.

Believe in yourself. Whatever you can conceive, you can achieve.

Conference

I was able to watch the LDS conference both sessions on Saturday and part of Sunday afternoon. I'm really glad I made it a priority to watch it. A few things I observed and heard made an impression on me.

The most tender and heart-warming thing I experienced was watching Elder Wirthlin giving his talk, and towards the middle, his age set in and he started shaking noticeably. Elder Nelson came up behind him and helped steady him as he finished his carefully prepared talk. It brought me to tears to see how age has taken its toll on Elder Wirthlin's body, but not his spirit or love of the gospel. And to see the fellowship from Elder Nelson was a firm testament of what the gospel and the love of Christ is all about.

Of all the talks I heard, that is the one that made the biggest impression.

It's easy to do the right thing.

My new mentality and thought process for life is that it is easy to do the right thing. It makes my life run smoother, increases my happiness, and brings me closer to my Savior and loved ones. It is easy to do the right thing. It is easy to do the right thing.

This is a huge paradigm shift for me. Those who know me really well know that I make things a lot more complicated than needed. I have a belief about myself that I learn things the hard way, and I'm a stronger person because of it. I'm just starting to grasp how unhealthy it is for me to carry that belief. Life doesn't have to be hard. I know it's bound to be hard now and again, but if I carry the belief that it WILL be hard, and a desire for it to be hard...to justify why I think I'm such a "strong" woman...then OF COURSE I'M GOING TO FIND, IF NOT CREATE, DIFFICULT SITUATIONS.

Also, rather than thinking of all the things I need to do, I need to think of what I'm willing to do. Little bites at a time...what am I willing to do? Then do it. And, I need to find my WHY...my truly passionate WHY.

That's enough for now...gotta go clean the kitty litter. :) THAT is one thing that I am willing to do.