Oh, Grey's Anatomy...I love you.

Okay, not to be a gay-wad, but Grey's Anatomy has facilitated the shedding of tears that my normal self will not allow. Thank you, Grey's Anatomy.

The first time I really became "aware" of Grey's Anatomy was when I worked for Inviscan, shortly after my separation from my ex-husband. The people I worked for watched Grey's Anatomy faithfully. I thought they were loony.

Turns out, I would be loony soon, too.

I finally found a moment to watch the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. Holy Crap, this in an intense one!!! Last year's Season Finale was intense, but this year seems to be even bigger. I watched the season finale last night, and I'm watching it again tonight. It still gets me, and I am grateful to know the moments to skip forward, because it is so freaking intense.

Now, I realize a TV show is NOT REAL. Even reality TV is a bunch of bull. But a TV show that can bring real life emotions to the surface is something special. And I have found that in Grey's Anatomy.

The season finale this year is something else. Seriously. Something else.

Ugh.

How sad is it, that when I watch Grey's Anatomy, I want those lives. I want McDreamy. I want the conversations between best friends. I want bits and pieces of their lives.


How freaking sad is that?

Reflecting

Father's Day is this coming Sunday.

I had a good talk with my dad on the phone last week. My parents live in Phoenix, and I have lived in Utah for 8 years now. I miss living close to home...close to all my nephews and nieces, siblings, and my mom and dad.

My dad will always say how he wasn't a good father when we were young. I know he sincerely feels some regret about working too much and spending too little time with us kids. I understand his perspective. And yet, I see my perspective as one of his kids. :)




I love and adore my dad. When I think of him, I don't have any judgments about the time he spent working vs. the time he spent with us at home. I do remember him being at work a lot, but I also remember spending time with him at work. He is an architect, so I remember using different programs at his work to create things. There was one program where we could create different colored lines and make elaborate designs. I loved doing that. When I was 10 or so, I remember learning how to drive while we waited for him to come out of the office. Most of the time, we were a one car family, so we would pile into our van to pick him up from work. I got some good driving lessons sitting on my mom's lap and steering the van. I really enjoyed that. When I was in high school, in my geography class, we had to design a home using floorplans and making a scaled model. My dad was extremely helpful with this project! He helped us use one of the programs at work to design the home, and it was so amazing that we had a party cutting out and creating the model. Easy, breazy. And our project kicked major a$$! I also remember going on camping trips with my dad and my sister. One time, we were tailgate camping, and I remember being utterly amazed at how smart my dad is when he boiled eggs on a campfire using paper cups. Every time I have hiked the Grand Canyon, my dad has been there...all six times. I also remember being completely heartbroken over a guy and sitting on the couch, my head on my dad's shoulder, as I cried over the broken relationship. He is a man of few words, typically, though he is a professional lecturer when it comes to his children. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that my dad loves me, and always has.

So, today I have been reflecting on my dad and the role he has played in my life. I am so grateful to have a father figure that has been present from day one, and who cares enough to vocalize his love and concern for me. I know he has a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and that is an ever-present reminder for me.

I love my dad. :)

What if

What would I say if I didn't give any thought to the readers of my blog?

I'd talk more about my personal struggles.

I'd openly discuss the things that my family members do that boggle my mind.

I would share humorous stories that the average person would find crass.

I would journal my spiritual growth, both forward and backward growth.

I would share experiences I've had that have taught me a lot, where most people would just read the story and place judgment on me rather than reading on to see what I learned and compare it to what they've learned.

I would post more fears, dreams, hopes, uncertainties, goals, and efforts.

The sugar-coating would be removed, and my bare heart would be left.

I don't think I could take that kind of vulnerability. So the sugar-coating will be used.

Sorry.

Need a Fresh Outlook?

Take a shower.

That's what works for me when I'm lagging behind in the day.

"Everyone who has ever taken a shower has had an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it that makes a difference."

- Nolan Bushnell

And for some inspiring reading, here's a Warrior of the Light article written by one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho. :)

Bullet-point

When I put together a post on my blog, I typically have something specific to post. Tonight, I have far too many thoughts swimming around in my head, so I'll go ahead with a bullet-point of these thoughts.

1. I really love the music on Grey's Anatomy. I picked a couple of artists from the last episode and made a new Pandora station that is FABULOUS. And SUPER AWESOME. The main artist is The Xx.
2. I finally got a library card! I've lived in Utah for almost 8 years, and I have been without a library card the whole time. How sad is that?! So, I have the giddy "free-shopping" feeling of going to the library, browsing through books, CDs, and movies. I love it.
3. For Christmas, Patrick made me a Christmas Tree. It was a really busy holiday season, and money was tight, so I broke down in tears one day over not having a tree. I came home from work to a work of art on our wall. It was made of cut out wrapping paper with a string of lights pinned up and ornaments hanging off of the string of lights. Our star tree-topper was at the top. The rest of our Christmas decorations were all out on display as well. What a thoughtful gesture that was. I have a sweet husband.
4. I have an amazing job offer. I interview next week, and will hopefully find out shortly thereafter that I definitely have it. I'd say the job is 90% mine...the benefit of knowing the future boss. I am so very excited!
5. Patrick and I visited my family in January. The weather was amazing, and it was a really good time. Probably one of the best visits in the last few years!
6. My parents, sis, and sis's boyfriend came to visit earlier this month. That was also a nice visit. We girls went with Patrick's mom to Time Out For Women. It was an amazing two days. The first night, Jenny Oaks Baker played several songs on her violin. I cried when she played the Suite from Far and Away. Wow, it was amazing. It made me want to pick up my violin and start playing again. I miss my violin.
7. I got a calling in December to be the Relief Society Music Director. I've thoroughly enjoyed selecting hymns that go with the topic being taught in Relief Society each week. It's so amazing how music can really bring the spirit into a room!
8. Last week I got another calling to be a Visiting Teaching District Leader. I'm hoping it helps hold me accountable to do my own visiting teaching. :)
9. Patrick got a promotion at his job. Better pay, better hours, and a more enjoyable position. We're both excited about all of the betters.
10. I am chomping on the bit to start a family. Patrick is thrilled, too. We just need to get a few ducks in a row, and it'll be baby-time. I'm less scared/excited and more anxious/excited, which I think is a good thing.
11. I think I am a pretty nice person. Not a pushover-nice, but genuine-nice. I've had a couple experiences in the last couple months where I have been told otherwise. Both occasions were from people who are unhappy with themselves, and I truly believe that I was not being a rude, insensitive jerk. The lesson learned: I am capable of being happy and kind regardless of how I am treated. It's a choice. MY choice. And I will always choose happiness and kindness first. It'll be perceived however it's perceived...

Okay, my brain is now empty and Patrick just got home from work. Snuggle time. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I just wanted to quickly express my thanks for the many blessings I have been given.

I am so blessed to have a great husband who loves me and supports me. I think I appreciate this blessing so much more than I otherwise would, because once upon a time I had a husband who did not support me, and I question whether or not he truly loved me. So, Patrick, thank you so much for being such a loving, patient, and forgiving husband. :) You are truly amazing.

I am very grateful for my wonderful family. I love my parents and my siblings, their spouses, and my beautiful nephews and nieces. All of my in-laws, too! I missed sharing this holiday with my family (especially mom's baking...Rolls to Die For), though I am also very blessed to have great friends who invited Patrick and me to their home for the feast. The rolls weren't my mom's, but they were still tasty. The turkey dressed in bacon and then baked was soooooo good!!

Which leads me to my friends. Great friends are one of life's most precious treasures. And I have a sack full of treasures!

I am grateful that I chose to take part in being an Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay back in May of 2006. I cannot explain what a blessing this has been in my life. I have met so many people and found amazing mentors who have influenced my life for the good. The extra income is great, but I have to be honest - the life changes have been priceless. I anxiously anticipate the good things to come in my life through this great opportunity!

I am eternally thankful for my testimony of God's love for me. Boy have I been a screwed up person, and thank goodness Jesus Christ has made it possible for me to move beyond the screwed up version of me. :) I find so much peace knowing that all things are possible when God is involved, including becoming a better person. Just like with family...I cannot thoroughly put into words how blessed I am because of this knowledge. :)

I am grateful for the beautiful home we live in, our 3 kitties who make me so happy, and the food on our table. I live a good life. And it is all due to God's hand. Thank you!

Now I am going to go eat some more pie. (I'll post recipes for the Rolls to Die For and Pumpkin Cheesecake Pie soon! They are divine!!)

Good idea:

I should embroider this on my pillowcase. :)

"There are worse things than looking stupid.
Sleeping through life is one of them."

- Laura Preble

And I should just start going to bed earlier.

Am I the only one who finds it incredibly difficult to get to bed by 11pm, and near impossible to get to bed by 10pm?? And quite unpleasant to be up before 8am?

Photo from Lunch Without Ed

What a great song!

Click here to listen!


Michael Jackson
"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.



This song is my current mantra! I am excited to change and grow for the better, and when the growing pains seem too much to bear, I'll just listen to this beautiful song and refocus. :)

Heart and Zen

Keep your heart clear and transparent
And you will never be bound.
A single disturbed thought, though,
Creates ten thousand distractions.
Let myriad things captivate you
And you'll go further and further astray.
How painful to see people
All wrapped up in themselves.


- Ryokan



A LOT has happened in the last 5 days. A LOT. I haven't taken the time to blog about it, because it's going to take a lot of thought, accountability, and time. :) Just know that things are 100% better, and I'm excited about the future.

Anticipation is great, huh???!

The Lovers

I don't know if I posted about my friend, Jillian, reading my Tarot cards, but I want to write down some of my thoughts from the reading.

It was on July 3rd, two days before Patrick initiated the conversation about the future of our marriage. I was working a double at work that day, and I was so excited for my break between shifts. As I was getting ready to wander for a couple hours, Jillian, a hostess at the restaurant, asked me if I would like her to read my cards during our break. I figured, why not? I'll read my horoscope once in a while for kicks. I have nothing to lose, and I might hear something comforting or insightful. And, it'll be fun and a first for me.

So, we went over to Barnes & Noble, sat at a table at the cafe, and went to town.

It would take too long to describe the layout she uses, every card that was drawn, the story about each card, and the meaning, as well as how it relates to my life, but let me tell you, it was FREAKING AMAZING. (The first card was The Lovers.) Even Jillian, who has done this a LOT, was completely blown away by how direct and applicable all of the cards were to the question I had, which was: What do I do about my marriage?

Here are some of the highlights:

• My inner balance is off and I need to restore it.
• I need to be kind to myself.
• I need to control my anxiety.
• A quiet retreat, sanctuary, or strategic withdrawal, where I can be alone with my thoughts will be very beneficial to me right now.
• I need to quit faking "calm" and show my true feelings.
• Nature is important to me. (the best place for me to find sanctuary)
• The relationship I want is characterized by mutual affinity and union, clear, true, supportive, comforting, with room for passions to grow. There is potential for this in my existing relationship.
• I should not re-enter social activities until satisfied that I have resumed contact with a personal value system.
• I need to withdraw from all distractions.
• I need to stand up for myself.
• Basically, the outcome is up to me, and I need to do what is necessary so I can have a clear mind and make a confident decision.

That same day I wrote down some Action Items for myself:

• Go visit Ken & Paula (my in-laws).
  
• Find my sanctuary in the wilderness near here.
• Follow through with a quiet, intentional withdrawal from all distractions. (NOT in the house - I have to be intentional with having purposeful introspection time.)
  
• Be clear and logical and explain what I want to Patrick.

While I'm not religious about Tarot cards, horoscopes, etc., I do think that sometimes we hear a needed message through a unique medium.

I keep forgetting to focus on the good things I got out of this experience. I still haven't retreated to the wilderness, though I have spent hours in the back yard, reading and watching the wind breathe through the blades of grass.

I keep spending too much time with other people, and not with my own intentional thoughts. I really need to stop doing this. I want to wake up each day, have a plan and a goal, and work productively toward being a better person that day.

So, that's my first experience with tarot cards. Not too shabby. :)

This probably won't make sense to you...

I feel so angry right now. I'm supposed to get in touch with my emotions and really allow myself to feel. Well, I don't know what to do with anger. It wants to turn into tears, but I just want to let it burn in my heart for a few. Why am I so angry? I know the "why," but I don't know why I decided to let the emotion come out of it. Self preservation?

Things I would like to say, but I'm too scared or feel like it's not very nice of me:
You can rationalize the hell out of your choices, but when it comes down to it, we are all filthy.
You are no better than any person out there. At all.
Talk to me that way again, and this journey will turn into a one-way ticket to hell.
Don't come back.

I miss my numb self that would just blow this off.



At the same time, I don't miss her at all.

Changes

I got this in an email today and thought it was pretty funny:

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."



I wish I had the balls to put that on my voicemail. :)

Your best face

Today my mom, aunt, and my aunt's grandson came up to Salt Lake City to eat lunch at the restaurant where I work. Previously this weekend, my mom mentioned that she would like to see the new place. I planned on cleaning up yesterday, but ended up not doing much in the way of tidying the house. This morning she called, and I invited everyone to come in when they arrived.


Well, did you get a chance to clean the house?

Not really, but we're all family. I've seen you all at your worst, so it's not a big deal.

Do you really want us to come in if it's not clean?

It's not that messy. No one will get cooties coming in here. What's the big deal?

Well...okay...


Now I would LOVE to say that I couldn't care less what my house looks like, and I treat all people the same. However, that is simply not true. Typically I would spend some time sprucing up the place, even if just straightening cushions, vacuuming the floor, and lighting a candle. When it comes to family, though, I just don't feel like I have to put on a show. At least I shouldn't feel pressured to put on a show. I am who I am. And in light of recent life circumstances, I've cut way back on my obsessive compulsive cleaning habits. While this may be uncomfortable for some people who have their expectations about how I should behave (especially the husband), I'm not a freaking nanny.

When it comes to my house, what you see is what you get. This is my face.

This reminded me of a recent conversation I had, as well as my experience with a handful of people I know. When someone is taking your picture, do you prefer to have a certain side of your body or face photographed? A certain angle? A certain pose?

Why are we so preoccupied with putting on our best face for everyone?...protecting that which makes us feel vulnerable, below-average, and inadequate?

Do we all have a million different personalities and faces? That change with every circumstance or situation in which we find ourselves?

Is it possible to have one face and to feel completely secure about who you are?


I would like to get there.

the voice of life, the voice of Being, of perpetual Becoming

I'm almost done with Women Who Love Too Much, and I think I will immediately read it again. This book has been amazing for me. Amazing enough to help me smile this morning when I was told how to do laundry...a smile, chuckle, and then, "you know, you can do your own damn laundry." Mmm...it felt good.

I'm also almost done with Siddhartha. I can see why this book is a favorite for some of my favorite authors. I can see how it has influenced their works, or at least aligned with their thought processes anyway.

"Often they sat together in the evening on the tree trunk by the river. They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, of perpetual Becoming. And it sometimes happened that while listening to the river, they both thought the same thoughts, perhaps of a conversation of the previous day, or about on of the travelers whose fate and circumstances occupied their minds, or death, or their childhood; and when the river told them something good at the same moment, they looked at each other, both thinking the same thought, both happy at the same answer to the same question."

Herman Hesse, Siddartha p. 108

When I am able to have this quality of relationship with a person, I feel ridiculously blessed. I met a handful of people like this at Outback, getting to know them intimately while spending a week at a time in the wilderness. Oh, how I miss that job.

I dated a guy like that, too. I miss the nights we would sit outside, stare at the stars in silence and just be on the same page.

I want that.

The brief moments where the stars align and being is experienced lately have been wonderful. Very wonderful.

I'm excited about this stage of my journey. Good things are happening.

Marriage & Divorce

Just when I needed to hear it:



Something unique about me - when I need to hear or read something, it appears. This need isn't a temporal need; it is not a religious need; it is a spiritual need. And it comes in various forms: a smile, an old book, a phone call, a picture, an email, a video, etc.

Anyway, this video is just what I needed to hear right now.

I think I know what I am going to do with this relationship, but doubt still fills my mind. I want to make the right decisions. I suppose I should go consult the man upstairs. :)


A side note: My friend, Brinn, lent me her copy of Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood. Talk about a mind-blowing book. I am a woman who loves too much, and I'm excited to finish this book and learn how to stop this negative and unhealthy pattern in my life. I HIGHLY recommend this book to every single woman out there. You will learn something that you can apply to yourself or that will help you be a supportive friend for your friends who are stuck in codependent relationships. What a great book.



I turn 30 tomorrow, and I am very excited about the possibilities of the future. I'm grateful that I am able to continue learning and growing and becoming the woman God intends me to be!

Blossom

I can't remember the source of the picture. I found it last night, and I slept it out of my memory. Dang it!

Anyway, I love this quote, and I love the font used. I'm intrigued by quote tattoos. Their only down side is that it's pretty trendy to have a quote done; however, the actual quote tattooed probably varies quite a bit, so there is some sort of originality with this concept.

If I had a quote permanently placed on my body, what would it say???



One of my favorite tattoos I've ever seen was on a girl at my work. It was a big beautiful tree, using blues, greens, and yellows. It was so magnificent. It was in the same place as this quote tattoo pictured, but a little more towards her back. Anyway, I wanted to frame it...which would be pretty difficult to do...

Fall Back by Obadiah Parker

I love it when I'm listening to my Ipod and I hear a "new" song that hits home. Here's the lyrics to this one:

Fall Back

I swear that I’ve been here before, on this same couch with this
Same disregard.
Baby, this is where darkness lives, and it’ll catch you off your guard.
I hope you can believe there’s more to me than what you see,
And that we have no business here even though you don’t agree.

Until we fall back onto the great I am
We’ll use up all we got, our love we will exhaust.
Until we learn to trust in the God of Abraham
And give up what we got, all will be lost.

Something here is wrong, I can hear it in your voice,
But crying at home by yourself is your method of choice.
Over the phone, just a couple miles away, is right where I belong.
Do you think that you were happier before I came along?

Until we fall back onto the great I Am
We’ll use up all we got, our love we will exhaust.
Until we learn to trust in the God of Abraham
And give up what we got, all will be lost.

I want to love you well; I want to do this right.
During the day it’s so easy but it gets hard at night.
I hope you can believe that I can’t go on at this rate;
Something’s gotta change, I just hope it’s not too late

Until we fall back onto the great I Am
We’ll burn up all we got, our love we will exhaust.
Until we learn to trust in the God of Abraham
And give up what we got, all will be lost.

What’cha gonna do with your love?
What’cha gonna let go of?
It’s time to make your choice right now.

What’cha gonna do about this?
You know it’s never just one kiss.
Don’t lie to me, don’t lie to yourself.

I feel like everything is wrong.

Use Your Words

Have you heard a mom say that to their little kid when they are whining or otherwise ineffectively communicating? I've heard a LOT of mom's say that. And I anticipate saying that to my kids as well.

I feel like saying that to myself and to my husband lately.

Why is it that when something is going wrong in a relationship, it is far easier to give the silent treatment rather than to communicate the issue and resolve it quickly?

Grunts and two word answers do not count as communicating.

And remaining silent instead of expressing myself does not count either.

I feel like if I were to use my words, it wouldn't be pretty. Perhaps that is how he also feels.

It has been a quiet day. Very quiet.

TV, Tears, Books, and Dreams

I love the emotional chaos I experience revolving around my period. I actually got teary watching a girl win some prizes on The Price is Right this morning. What the...?!?!

I stayed up until 3:30 am doing nothing last night, then woke up before 8 am with horrific cramps. Thank goodness I had some Midol and a rice-filled hot pad that a friend gave me years ago. It heats up beautifully in the microwave. So take all that pain and discomfort, throw in some emotion, and voila - tears at The Price is Right. :) Silly.

There was an item to price for one of the games on The Price is Right that totally inspired a crafty idea for me. I got a couple wooden frames at DI the other day, and the frame on The Price is Right had a really cool design either painted or wood-burned into it. I'm totally going to get a wood burner and do this to one of, or both, of the frames I got!

I finished The Zahir by Paulo Coelho this morning while treating my abdomen with the hot pad. I really started reading this book in December then forgot to keep reading it for several months. I'm a pretty fast reader if I can stay focused long enough to actually read a book. Anyway, I really enjoyed the book. It took me awhile to get into it, but that's because I wasn't ready for it. In December, I was ready.

I am a huge fan of Paulo Coelho. I swear when I read his books, it is just the time in my life that I am touched very specifically by the book. This happened with The Alchemist and Eleven Minutes. I think I've read The Pilgrimage, but I can't remember! It seems like I had a pleasant dream about the story, and it has fueled my own passion to have a personal pilgrimage. I would be ecstatic to actually go walk/hike the road to Santiago by myself. Yep, by myself. I mentioned it to Patrick once, and he would flip out if I were gone, in a foriegn country, on foot, by myself, for a month. I suppose I understand, but that doesn't remove the yearning from my soul. I'm pretty sure I've read By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, too, but like The Pilgrimage, it's foggy in my memory. I'll read both of these again.

So, if you haven't read anything by Paulo Coelho, go get The Alchemist. It's a place to start.