What I've been up to as of late...

I shared some personal thoughts on our family blog tonight.

For the rest of the update on current life events, I have been house sitting for my sister and her husband for the last couple weeks while they are out of the country enjoying a fantastic vacation and a wedding.  I brought my daughter with me, of course, and we are taking care of their 2 dogs and 2 cats.  It's been a WONDERFUL break from the heat that was already encompassing life in Phoenix.  I look at the forecast and compare Phoenix to Newport, Oregon frequently and smile as I set the heater here to 68 degrees.

The 2 dogs are beautiful black Russian terriers.  They require a lot of activity to keep them and me sane, and it has been a lot of fun to get out and go on hikes with them.  I throw Lola into her carrier on my back, and I am sure it's an interesting sight to see me hauling a baby and hanging onto the leashes attached to 2 big dogs.  I love when I can let them off leash...they wear each other out.  I really enjoy hiking along the coast on sunny days and in the wilderness on cloudy days.

In a couple weeks I will be back in Salt Lake City.  I really miss Utah.  It became my home.  After a visit there, I will head back to Phoenix and find a part-time job.  I am and am not looking forward to this. :)  I am looking forward to getting in a position to find an apartment or home to rent and to have our family together in our own little space.

Patrick is living in Salt Lake City right now, working diligently on getting some projects finished up in his shop and getting packed up to move his business to Phoenix.  It has taken longer than we expected, and it has been really hard to be apart for so long.  Long distance marriage is tough.  I miss our daily routine and sleeping so contently next to him.  We pray continually that things will go well for him and he will be able to join us as soon as possible.

I have been busy being a mom to the most amazing little girl in my world.  I can't believe she is 21 months old.  I see her legs getting longer and more lean, as well as her arms, and I just get a little sad that my baby is growing into a little child.  I love this stage we are in, though it exhausts me.  She is so alert and smart and has such a fun personality.  She's getting into her independent stage where anything I hand her is no good...she's got to get it for herself.  I make sure to breathe deeply and allow messes to happen for the sake of memories and her learning process being fulfilled.  Sometimes I want to just bite her cheeks, she's so cute!

I've also been crocheting a bit and keeping my creative juices flowing.  It's a nice outlet.  I made the beanie she's wearing in that last picture.  Not too shabby for my first beanie with flowers!

Anyway, life is stressful for sure.  But it is always so deliciously good.

Reflecting

Father's Day is this coming Sunday.

I had a good talk with my dad on the phone last week. My parents live in Phoenix, and I have lived in Utah for 8 years now. I miss living close to home...close to all my nephews and nieces, siblings, and my mom and dad.

My dad will always say how he wasn't a good father when we were young. I know he sincerely feels some regret about working too much and spending too little time with us kids. I understand his perspective. And yet, I see my perspective as one of his kids. :)




I love and adore my dad. When I think of him, I don't have any judgments about the time he spent working vs. the time he spent with us at home. I do remember him being at work a lot, but I also remember spending time with him at work. He is an architect, so I remember using different programs at his work to create things. There was one program where we could create different colored lines and make elaborate designs. I loved doing that. When I was 10 or so, I remember learning how to drive while we waited for him to come out of the office. Most of the time, we were a one car family, so we would pile into our van to pick him up from work. I got some good driving lessons sitting on my mom's lap and steering the van. I really enjoyed that. When I was in high school, in my geography class, we had to design a home using floorplans and making a scaled model. My dad was extremely helpful with this project! He helped us use one of the programs at work to design the home, and it was so amazing that we had a party cutting out and creating the model. Easy, breazy. And our project kicked major a$$! I also remember going on camping trips with my dad and my sister. One time, we were tailgate camping, and I remember being utterly amazed at how smart my dad is when he boiled eggs on a campfire using paper cups. Every time I have hiked the Grand Canyon, my dad has been there...all six times. I also remember being completely heartbroken over a guy and sitting on the couch, my head on my dad's shoulder, as I cried over the broken relationship. He is a man of few words, typically, though he is a professional lecturer when it comes to his children. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that my dad loves me, and always has.

So, today I have been reflecting on my dad and the role he has played in my life. I am so grateful to have a father figure that has been present from day one, and who cares enough to vocalize his love and concern for me. I know he has a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and that is an ever-present reminder for me.

I love my dad. :)

Bullet-point

When I put together a post on my blog, I typically have something specific to post. Tonight, I have far too many thoughts swimming around in my head, so I'll go ahead with a bullet-point of these thoughts.

1. I really love the music on Grey's Anatomy. I picked a couple of artists from the last episode and made a new Pandora station that is FABULOUS. And SUPER AWESOME. The main artist is The Xx.
2. I finally got a library card! I've lived in Utah for almost 8 years, and I have been without a library card the whole time. How sad is that?! So, I have the giddy "free-shopping" feeling of going to the library, browsing through books, CDs, and movies. I love it.
3. For Christmas, Patrick made me a Christmas Tree. It was a really busy holiday season, and money was tight, so I broke down in tears one day over not having a tree. I came home from work to a work of art on our wall. It was made of cut out wrapping paper with a string of lights pinned up and ornaments hanging off of the string of lights. Our star tree-topper was at the top. The rest of our Christmas decorations were all out on display as well. What a thoughtful gesture that was. I have a sweet husband.
4. I have an amazing job offer. I interview next week, and will hopefully find out shortly thereafter that I definitely have it. I'd say the job is 90% mine...the benefit of knowing the future boss. I am so very excited!
5. Patrick and I visited my family in January. The weather was amazing, and it was a really good time. Probably one of the best visits in the last few years!
6. My parents, sis, and sis's boyfriend came to visit earlier this month. That was also a nice visit. We girls went with Patrick's mom to Time Out For Women. It was an amazing two days. The first night, Jenny Oaks Baker played several songs on her violin. I cried when she played the Suite from Far and Away. Wow, it was amazing. It made me want to pick up my violin and start playing again. I miss my violin.
7. I got a calling in December to be the Relief Society Music Director. I've thoroughly enjoyed selecting hymns that go with the topic being taught in Relief Society each week. It's so amazing how music can really bring the spirit into a room!
8. Last week I got another calling to be a Visiting Teaching District Leader. I'm hoping it helps hold me accountable to do my own visiting teaching. :)
9. Patrick got a promotion at his job. Better pay, better hours, and a more enjoyable position. We're both excited about all of the betters.
10. I am chomping on the bit to start a family. Patrick is thrilled, too. We just need to get a few ducks in a row, and it'll be baby-time. I'm less scared/excited and more anxious/excited, which I think is a good thing.
11. I think I am a pretty nice person. Not a pushover-nice, but genuine-nice. I've had a couple experiences in the last couple months where I have been told otherwise. Both occasions were from people who are unhappy with themselves, and I truly believe that I was not being a rude, insensitive jerk. The lesson learned: I am capable of being happy and kind regardless of how I am treated. It's a choice. MY choice. And I will always choose happiness and kindness first. It'll be perceived however it's perceived...

Okay, my brain is now empty and Patrick just got home from work. Snuggle time. :)

Dinner Rolls to Die For

The story behind this recipe is quite funny. My mom worked in a bakery as a teenager/young adult and regularly baked at home. She would make and decorate wedding cakes, birthday cakes, other cake orders, bread to sell, muffins to sell, various goodies to give away, and bread and treats for us at home. She became well known for her dinner rolls, and after several years, recognized a pattern. Every time there was a funeral, she would get called to make her amazing dinner rolls to serve to the family after the funeral services. It was only natural that the boring name "dinner rolls" developed into the well earned "Dinner Rolls to Die For."

Dinner Rolls to Die For

6 to 6 1/2 c. flour
1/2 c. sugar
2 tsp. salt
2 pkg. yeast
1/2 c. butter
1 egg
2 c. warm water (12o˚ to 130˚)
Salad oil

In large bowl, combine 2 1/4 cups flour, sugar, salt, and yeast; add butter. With mixer at low speed, gradually pour water into dry ingredients. Add egg; increase speed to medium and beat 2 minutes. Beat in 3/4 cup flour or enough to make a thick batter; continue beating 2 minutes. With spoon, stir in enough additional flour (about 2 1/2 cups) to make a soft dough. Turn dough onto a lightly floured surface an knead until smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. (I think my mom still uses her mixer for this part, if my memory is correct.)

Shape dough into ball and place in greased large bowl, turning over so that top of dough is greased. Cover with towel; let rise in warm place until doubled, about 1 1/2 hours. Grease 15 1/2 x 10 1/2 inch open roasting pan or cookie sheet with shallow edges (not flat!). Cut dough into 30 equal pieces; shape into balls and place in pan. Cover with towel; let rise in warm place until doubled, about 1 to 1/2 hours.

Preheat oven to 425˚. Bake 15 to 20 minutes, until golden brown. Brush rolls with melted butter. Remove from pan and serve immediately. Makes 2 1/2 dozen rolls.


These rolls are so amazing, it's ridiculous.

By the way, when my mom worked at the bakery, her boss taught her how to shape the dough into perfect rolls.

• Place the little ball of dough on a lightly floured surface. Cup your hand as if you were to cup a small breast with your hand. (Yep - that's what he said!), now gently roll the ball of dough in a circular motion (breast reference continued) until it reaches the desired shape. :) All I can say is that it really is easier to shape the balls of dough into perfect rolls when you remember this very interesting trick of the trade!
  

Paradise Pumpkin Pie

I'm finally getting to posting this recipe. It's one of my family-favorites that my mom bakes several of for Thanksgiving.

Paradise Pumpkin Pie

1 8-oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
1/4 c. sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 egg
1 9-inch unbaked pastry shell
*****
1 1/4 c. canned pumpkin
1 c. evaporated milk
1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ginger
1/4 tsp. nutmeg (I like to add a little more!)
Dash of salt
*****

Combine softened cream cheese, sugar and vanilla, mixing until well blended. Blend in egg. Spread onto bottom of pastry shell.

Combine remaining ingredients; mix well. Carefully pour over cream cheese mixture. Bake at 350˚, 1 hour and 5 minutes. Cool. Brush with maple syrup and garnish with pecan halves, if desired.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I just wanted to quickly express my thanks for the many blessings I have been given.

I am so blessed to have a great husband who loves me and supports me. I think I appreciate this blessing so much more than I otherwise would, because once upon a time I had a husband who did not support me, and I question whether or not he truly loved me. So, Patrick, thank you so much for being such a loving, patient, and forgiving husband. :) You are truly amazing.

I am very grateful for my wonderful family. I love my parents and my siblings, their spouses, and my beautiful nephews and nieces. All of my in-laws, too! I missed sharing this holiday with my family (especially mom's baking...Rolls to Die For), though I am also very blessed to have great friends who invited Patrick and me to their home for the feast. The rolls weren't my mom's, but they were still tasty. The turkey dressed in bacon and then baked was soooooo good!!

Which leads me to my friends. Great friends are one of life's most precious treasures. And I have a sack full of treasures!

I am grateful that I chose to take part in being an Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay back in May of 2006. I cannot explain what a blessing this has been in my life. I have met so many people and found amazing mentors who have influenced my life for the good. The extra income is great, but I have to be honest - the life changes have been priceless. I anxiously anticipate the good things to come in my life through this great opportunity!

I am eternally thankful for my testimony of God's love for me. Boy have I been a screwed up person, and thank goodness Jesus Christ has made it possible for me to move beyond the screwed up version of me. :) I find so much peace knowing that all things are possible when God is involved, including becoming a better person. Just like with family...I cannot thoroughly put into words how blessed I am because of this knowledge. :)

I am grateful for the beautiful home we live in, our 3 kitties who make me so happy, and the food on our table. I live a good life. And it is all due to God's hand. Thank you!

Now I am going to go eat some more pie. (I'll post recipes for the Rolls to Die For and Pumpkin Cheesecake Pie soon! They are divine!!)

Your best face

Today my mom, aunt, and my aunt's grandson came up to Salt Lake City to eat lunch at the restaurant where I work. Previously this weekend, my mom mentioned that she would like to see the new place. I planned on cleaning up yesterday, but ended up not doing much in the way of tidying the house. This morning she called, and I invited everyone to come in when they arrived.


Well, did you get a chance to clean the house?

Not really, but we're all family. I've seen you all at your worst, so it's not a big deal.

Do you really want us to come in if it's not clean?

It's not that messy. No one will get cooties coming in here. What's the big deal?

Well...okay...


Now I would LOVE to say that I couldn't care less what my house looks like, and I treat all people the same. However, that is simply not true. Typically I would spend some time sprucing up the place, even if just straightening cushions, vacuuming the floor, and lighting a candle. When it comes to family, though, I just don't feel like I have to put on a show. At least I shouldn't feel pressured to put on a show. I am who I am. And in light of recent life circumstances, I've cut way back on my obsessive compulsive cleaning habits. While this may be uncomfortable for some people who have their expectations about how I should behave (especially the husband), I'm not a freaking nanny.

When it comes to my house, what you see is what you get. This is my face.

This reminded me of a recent conversation I had, as well as my experience with a handful of people I know. When someone is taking your picture, do you prefer to have a certain side of your body or face photographed? A certain angle? A certain pose?

Why are we so preoccupied with putting on our best face for everyone?...protecting that which makes us feel vulnerable, below-average, and inadequate?

Do we all have a million different personalities and faces? That change with every circumstance or situation in which we find ourselves?

Is it possible to have one face and to feel completely secure about who you are?


I would like to get there.

Happy Birthday Sis!!!

Happy Birthday to my sweet sister, Kosette!!!

I love her sooooo much!

Today she turns 28.

We fought a lot growing up, but I can honestly say that as adults, we love each other even more. She's the best sister ever!!!

I love you Kosette!

A day late

Yesterday was an odd day for me. For several reasons:

1) Patrick's mom stopped by after her flight landed in SLC. She had been visiting her sister in California. I love seeing Jana and talking with her. I don't think I was prepared to tell her Happy Mother's Day or anything, though. I know it's not hard to say the words, but my whole day felt very off, so I couldn't put the heart behind the words. And Patrick may or may not have told her Happy Mother's Day, and if he did, it was probably minimized as much as possible. So, if I put forth a stronger message of love and appreciation than her own son....it's just weird. And it would be fine if he didn't get so bugged when I do communicate my love and appreciation for his mom.

***WHY do husbands think that their wife has to adopt their feelings toward their family??? I experienced this with my ex-husband, too, and it is DAMN annoying!

2) I didn't even call my own mom. How crappy is that? I didn't do it intentionally. I forgot. Like I said, yesterday wasn't the greatest, and I was consumed in my own frustrations and self-pity. Not good, but that's where I was. I will certainly call the little lady this morning and apologize profusely. (I'm a crappy daughter sometimes.)

3) I have been at a crossroad in my life, metaphorically speaking, that is, for quite some time. I am SICK of it! Yesterday was one of those days that just rubbed my nose in the fact that my life is okay, mediocre, average, and ordinary. And that just sucks. My life isn't meant to be those things. It is meant to be remarkable, extraordinary, meaningful, focused, driven, successful, loving, cherished, and blessed. The only thing between where it is now and where it should be, unfortunately, is ME. *sigh*

4) We're moving this month. This is great and all, but moving is stressful for me, and right now, I need to be focusing on other things. Reality bites. I'm going to be the whip cracker to get this done (aka getting Patrick to go through his shit). This role wears me out. And while I'm excited for this new home, I'm a little worried. Patrick's friend, Chris, is moving in with us. He's a great guy, and I like him a lot. Patrick swears that Chris is a clean person, but Patrick thinks that he is a clean person. I don't want another adult man to pick up after. Is that too much to ask? And for some reason, I can't figure out how to get Patrick to get things done without turning into a naggy, angry, bitter, resentful bitch. That is so not me! Can't we all just look around and pitch in every day????? Is that too much to ask???? And I'm hoping that having another person around won't be a strain on our already strained relationship. I guess we'll just see how it goes.

5) The best part of my day was watching last week's episode of Grey's Anatomy while I put laundry away. I love that show. Quite naturally, I cried. It sucks that Izzie is going to die (most likely, anyway), but I suppose Katherine Heigl asked for it. What a great show. It at least made the "love" part of my heart a little warm. Thank goodness tv fills in for the inadequacies of real life, eh? :)

Okay, I realize this post is really negative, pessimistic, and a load of crappy venting. But guess what? It had to be done. It's out, and I feel a little bit better. Like I told my mom when we were in Arizona at the beginning of the month, "All I can do is my best. I can't predict the outcome of anything, so in the meantime, I take care of myself, and do my very best." So, it's time I start doing it.

The Soloist

It's been awhile since Patrick and I went to see a movie in a theater. Well, I'm very excited to go see this one...maybe I'll drag my family out when we're visiting in Arizona in a couple weeks:

Family Photo

It's pretty rare for us to have any pictures around with both of us in them, especially those taken by other people. So, on Christmas Day, I had Patrick's sister take a picture for/of us. I think we make a pretty cute couple.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!!!

Christmas Memory

One of my favorite memories of Christmas as a child was reading Luke 2 as a family on Christmas Eve. And eating oranges that my dad would peel for us. :) He had a special knife he would use, and we would patiently wait for another orange to eat. My dad is awesome.


A blog I follow, Design Mom, posted this cute nativity that the children in her church participated in. It's narrated by one girl, and filled with photography of the different scenes. The sheep are my favorite. It's so very cute...check it out:

Denver

I arrived in Denver on Monday to open up the new downtown Ling & Louie's. It's a brand new experience for me, which is exciting. It's also a big honor and privilege that I was selected from all the servers to represent the restaurant where I work. I really love being a server and doing my job well. I hope I can transfer that passion to the servers I train.

This morning my sister picked up me and another server I work with, Makayla, and we went to breakfast. It is really nice to see my sis again. I miss living close to family, and I really miss living close to my sis. I'm excited to get to spend time with her while I'm here.

I'll try to post little updates about my experience. For now, I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long and full day!!

A couple photos from Phoenix

Our family went to the park on the Friday after Thanksgiving. My sis-in-law snapped these shots. I figured I'd put them on here as a reminder to me to 1) suck in my belly more often, 2) enjoy the sun as I did during my nap, and 3) lose 30 lbs.

That's all. :)

Vintage Gift Idea

I'm pretty sure I've posted this picture before, but I need to remind myself of this project. My creative juices are flowing in regards to this one!!



This is a collection of vintage multi-stamp transfers of old cars. My husband is a vintage freak and an old-car freak. This would be an awesome project to do for him. I just can't decide if I should do a wall hanging or a quilt.

My mom and her neighbor have been playing with her neighbor's humongous quilting machine. This thing takes up an entire room, and they've done some amazing work on quilts my mom has made. She is finishing a project and asked me if I want it. I am so wishing I had a camera so I could have taken some pictures. It's so pretty. I just don't have a lot of space. So don't kill me, but I said no. She told me (and I knew) that she would rather it go to someone who really wants it and will treasure it. A lot of time has gone into that quilt.

So, I want to embroider the old car patterns, put it together as a quilt with some sweet vintage fabrics, and have my mom and her neighbor quilt it. I'm giving myself 12-18 months for this project. :) Either next Christmas, or a year from Patrick's birthday sounds like a reasonable timeline.

Thanksgiving Report

I posted a summary of our Thanksgiving trip to Phoenix on our Family blog:

Thanksgiving in Phoenix

It was a great trip. :)

Lemonade and Thanksgiving

I haven't posted in awhile, I know. I've been a little preoccupied with posting about my health on a little blog I started up for that specific purpose. It is:

I Make Lemonade

I figured a good name for the website was "When Life Gives Me Lemons..." and the website is "I Make Lemonade." Clever. I know. :)

So, I'm pretty sure I have rheumatoid arthritis, and it sucks. That's been the focal point of my life for the last month. If you have any experience or advice, I'd love to hear about it! I started the blog to journal the physical challenges and growth, as well as the emotional challenges and growth. Turns out, there will be some relationship challenges and growth as well. So, check it out if you want. You might end up thinking I'm a total weenie after reading it, but that's okay. I know I'm a tough girl...I'm just trying to be really honest in my journaling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patrick and I are driving down to Phoenix to spend Thanksgiving with my parents and siblings. I'm excited to see them. We were last down there for Christmas last year. This time of year, I miss the heat sooooo much! We'll be down there from Wednesday through Sunday, then Patrick will drive back to Utah Sunday so he can be back to work on Monday. Monday morning I fly to Denver to help open a new restaurant. I thoroughly enjoy training, so I'm quite excited about this opportunity. I'm hopefully finding a camera soon, so I'll post pictures of the adventures I'll be having over the next 3 weeks. :)

Elliot and Molly's adoption profile...please take a look

Please visit this site to see an amazing family
adopting through LDS family services

Getting the word out and increasing the exposure of their adoption profile is a great way to help Elliot and Molly on their journey to adoption. These are some of the best kind of people I know. Intelligent, funny, sincere, kind, loving, strong, giving, faithful, and loyal. I am blessed to know both of them.

Please take a minute to check out their profile and post a link on your blog to help spread the word. Thanks!!

Kolob

I was talking to my sister the other day about a movie she watched with her boyfriend and his dad and step-mom. I can't remember what it was called, but it led my sis and I to a conversation about Kolob. Now, I don't have a whole lot of knowledge about this subject, but I told her I loved the hymn "If You Could Hie to Kolob." She couldn't remember the song, so here's a version I found on YouTube that's rocked out:



I really dig this rocked out version of the hymn. Some people think it's irreverent to cover a hymn with a rockin' twist, but I think, "hey, if it makes people able to relate to it a bit more, why not?!"

So, I think this version of the song is great. Take it or leave it. :)


**A little side note from this post:

Do you think that people who have faith or believe in God and/or are active in a religion are weak or stupid for believing in something that can't be proven?

Total Random Thought

There's a store at the mall where I work called Lola Bella. One day during a break I was outside enjoying the day and noticed this little boutique. My mom's name is Lola, and I think it would be absolutely adorable if we had a daughter to name her Lola Bella Largin. Freaking cute, I say!