Bullet-point

When I put together a post on my blog, I typically have something specific to post. Tonight, I have far too many thoughts swimming around in my head, so I'll go ahead with a bullet-point of these thoughts.

1. I really love the music on Grey's Anatomy. I picked a couple of artists from the last episode and made a new Pandora station that is FABULOUS. And SUPER AWESOME. The main artist is The Xx.
2. I finally got a library card! I've lived in Utah for almost 8 years, and I have been without a library card the whole time. How sad is that?! So, I have the giddy "free-shopping" feeling of going to the library, browsing through books, CDs, and movies. I love it.
3. For Christmas, Patrick made me a Christmas Tree. It was a really busy holiday season, and money was tight, so I broke down in tears one day over not having a tree. I came home from work to a work of art on our wall. It was made of cut out wrapping paper with a string of lights pinned up and ornaments hanging off of the string of lights. Our star tree-topper was at the top. The rest of our Christmas decorations were all out on display as well. What a thoughtful gesture that was. I have a sweet husband.
4. I have an amazing job offer. I interview next week, and will hopefully find out shortly thereafter that I definitely have it. I'd say the job is 90% mine...the benefit of knowing the future boss. I am so very excited!
5. Patrick and I visited my family in January. The weather was amazing, and it was a really good time. Probably one of the best visits in the last few years!
6. My parents, sis, and sis's boyfriend came to visit earlier this month. That was also a nice visit. We girls went with Patrick's mom to Time Out For Women. It was an amazing two days. The first night, Jenny Oaks Baker played several songs on her violin. I cried when she played the Suite from Far and Away. Wow, it was amazing. It made me want to pick up my violin and start playing again. I miss my violin.
7. I got a calling in December to be the Relief Society Music Director. I've thoroughly enjoyed selecting hymns that go with the topic being taught in Relief Society each week. It's so amazing how music can really bring the spirit into a room!
8. Last week I got another calling to be a Visiting Teaching District Leader. I'm hoping it helps hold me accountable to do my own visiting teaching. :)
9. Patrick got a promotion at his job. Better pay, better hours, and a more enjoyable position. We're both excited about all of the betters.
10. I am chomping on the bit to start a family. Patrick is thrilled, too. We just need to get a few ducks in a row, and it'll be baby-time. I'm less scared/excited and more anxious/excited, which I think is a good thing.
11. I think I am a pretty nice person. Not a pushover-nice, but genuine-nice. I've had a couple experiences in the last couple months where I have been told otherwise. Both occasions were from people who are unhappy with themselves, and I truly believe that I was not being a rude, insensitive jerk. The lesson learned: I am capable of being happy and kind regardless of how I am treated. It's a choice. MY choice. And I will always choose happiness and kindness first. It'll be perceived however it's perceived...

Okay, my brain is now empty and Patrick just got home from work. Snuggle time. :)

I heart Mary Kay

I just wanted to share one of the Mary Kay commercials that has been on TV. I seriously LOVE these products, and even more...I love that I don't look my age! :)

Feel free to contact me to try these great products or get anything that you need!

Alison Largin
www.marykay.com/alargin
alargin@marykay.com

P.S. Check out the awesome Holiday and Limited-Edition products on my website. Sooooo great!!!

What a great song!

Click here to listen!


Michael Jackson
"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could've
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
('Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can't Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You've Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To
You've Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.



This song is my current mantra! I am excited to change and grow for the better, and when the growing pains seem too much to bear, I'll just listen to this beautiful song and refocus. :)

the voice of life, the voice of Being, of perpetual Becoming

I'm almost done with Women Who Love Too Much, and I think I will immediately read it again. This book has been amazing for me. Amazing enough to help me smile this morning when I was told how to do laundry...a smile, chuckle, and then, "you know, you can do your own damn laundry." Mmm...it felt good.

I'm also almost done with Siddhartha. I can see why this book is a favorite for some of my favorite authors. I can see how it has influenced their works, or at least aligned with their thought processes anyway.

"Often they sat together in the evening on the tree trunk by the river. They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, of perpetual Becoming. And it sometimes happened that while listening to the river, they both thought the same thoughts, perhaps of a conversation of the previous day, or about on of the travelers whose fate and circumstances occupied their minds, or death, or their childhood; and when the river told them something good at the same moment, they looked at each other, both thinking the same thought, both happy at the same answer to the same question."

Herman Hesse, Siddartha p. 108

When I am able to have this quality of relationship with a person, I feel ridiculously blessed. I met a handful of people like this at Outback, getting to know them intimately while spending a week at a time in the wilderness. Oh, how I miss that job.

I dated a guy like that, too. I miss the nights we would sit outside, stare at the stars in silence and just be on the same page.

I want that.

The brief moments where the stars align and being is experienced lately have been wonderful. Very wonderful.

I'm excited about this stage of my journey. Good things are happening.

Marriage & Divorce

Just when I needed to hear it:



Something unique about me - when I need to hear or read something, it appears. This need isn't a temporal need; it is not a religious need; it is a spiritual need. And it comes in various forms: a smile, an old book, a phone call, a picture, an email, a video, etc.

Anyway, this video is just what I needed to hear right now.

I think I know what I am going to do with this relationship, but doubt still fills my mind. I want to make the right decisions. I suppose I should go consult the man upstairs. :)


A side note: My friend, Brinn, lent me her copy of Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood. Talk about a mind-blowing book. I am a woman who loves too much, and I'm excited to finish this book and learn how to stop this negative and unhealthy pattern in my life. I HIGHLY recommend this book to every single woman out there. You will learn something that you can apply to yourself or that will help you be a supportive friend for your friends who are stuck in codependent relationships. What a great book.



I turn 30 tomorrow, and I am very excited about the possibilities of the future. I'm grateful that I am able to continue learning and growing and becoming the woman God intends me to be!

The Power of Intention

The Secrets of the Power of Intention: Live Lecture by Wayne W. Dyer

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This lecture has been such a positive influence on my life. I lent it to my sister, and I miss having it in my car to keep me focused on what is most important. I HIGHLY recommend this lecture to anyone and everyone.


View all my reviews.

On a Positive Note...

I need to have more positive notes.

Have you heard of Dr. Wayne Dyer? I first heard of him around 4-5 years ago (really? that long ago??) when I worked at Outback Therapeutic Expeditions. I got my hands on his CD lecture, The Power of Intention. I listened to the 6 CD's over and over and over. At the time, I had a 30 minute commute each way to work, so it was a great time to listen and ponder what I was hearing. Whenever I was listening to that collection, my life felt so much more focused. I felt at peace. I felt hope. These are totally different feeling words than I used in my last post. :)

Yesterday I was doing some cleaning and Dr. Wayne Dyer was on PBS promoting his newest lecture and books. This one is called Excuses Begone! The book was published this May, so the PBS special was excerpts from a lecture he gave, and they were raising money for PBS by selling his books and CD's. It was a great program. The little bit that I heard was TOTALLY what I needed to hear. He talked about the 18 most commonly used excuses that all of us use way too frequently when we settle for less.

• I Can't Afford It
• It's Going to be Risky
• It Will Take a Long Time
• I'm too Busy
• It Will be Difficult
• There Will be Family Drama
• I Don't Deserve It
• It's Not My Nature
• No One Will Help Me
• It Has Never Happened Before
• I'm Not Strong Enough
• I'm Not Smart Enough
• I'm Too Old (or Not Old Enough)
• The Rules Won't Let Me
• It's Too Big
• I Don't Have the Energy
• It's My Personal Family History
• I'm Too Scared

I really want to get the book and CD collection and really take the time to quit using these excuses in my life (including my current frustrating situation).

I believe that our thoughts dictate the direction and the quality of our experience in this world. I just need to put that belief into practice, so it becomes concrete knowledge. A great place for me to start is with how I think about myself and about Patrick, though I really do feel that focusing on myself is the true starting point.

Oh, I have so much work to do...


P.S. Daily Inspiration from Dr. Wayne Dyer!

P. P. S. Sorry no pictures. I need to start loving my camera again. I know I actually take time to look at and read posts when there's at least one picture. I'm such a hypocrite! ;)

Hello

This is a picture I like of me, taken in January. I'm diggin' the red lips lately.

Thank Goodness

Thank goodness Patrick loves me enough to love me regardless of and as I work through my problems. Thank goodness I love Patrick enough to love him through his problems too.

This is one of the clips from the last episode of Grey's Anatomy. It wasn't the pivitol point of the episode or the biggest tear jerker for me, but still, a meaningful moment that reminded me of the importance of compassion and empathy.

Grey's Anatomy has put out 3 phenomenal episodes in a row with some serious tear jerking moments. The issues surrounding the death row patient and Meredith's compassion for him spurred a little ethics discussion in my head. I'm realizing more and more that the world is not black and white, and I find myself identifying with Meredith's choices in the last couple episodes.

I'm still digesting the last couple episodes and trying to process it all. Wow. Just wow.

(And I'm supposed to be doing homework right now.) :)

My mantra today

Life is Good and I am Happy

Ten Rules for Being Human

Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott

1.	You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2.	You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3.	There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4.	Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5.	Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6.	"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7.	Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8.	What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9.	Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10.	You will forget all this.

I found this on a website called My Success Company. I don't really know what's on the website, but I liked this list of "rules" for being human. It makes sense to me!

Uncorked

Have you seen any great movies? How about your top list of amazing movies? One movie that is on my list of "WOW Movies" is "Uncorked." This little clip is from near the very end of the movie and has a guitar solo that I think is pretty sweet.



Seriously, this is a great movie to see. It's a tough one to find, though. Only one of all the Hollywood Video stores in all of Utah county had it. I was able to get it through Blockbuster Online so my hubby could see it a year ago. Unfortunately, it's not really on sale anywhere, and anywhere that is selling it has the price marked up super high.

Anyway, what I love about this movie is that it tells a story of a man who wants a certain life so badly...riches, comfort, etc. The way he is pursuing these desires, though, is a dead end. Through the insight of his eccentric uncle, life is given new clarity and new meaning.

I really relate to the man's resistance to the natural path. It's a challenge when you really think or feel that life is going to unfold a certain way, and (as we all probably know by now) at what seems the most inopportune moment, it all comes crumbling down. We are left confused, disparaged, disheartened, and wondering what to do.

In all that chaos, something beautiful is simultaneously developing. The moment where a choice can be made, new direction taken, and forward momentum created. Whether it is a movie, book, new acquaintace, etc., I absolutely thrive on anything which has subject matter gravitating around this concept.

I am currently reading "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen. It was recommended to me by someone I hardly know yet highly respect. The copy I purchased is titled "As a Woman Thinketh," and it is exactly the same other than using "woman," "she," "her," etc. instead of "he," "man," "his," etc. I've been questioned a couple times by different people as to how necessary it is to change from male to female pronouns, and at this point, I'm sticking to enjoying being a woman and reading a book that has been redirected toward women. (that was a total side-tanjent)


As a Man/Woman Thinketh talks about how these circumstances in life are the "equitable outworking of her evolving, yet unevolved self." WOW...seriously, WOW!!!! Life experiences are the result of our innermost thoughts. They are also opportunities for us to learn and reroute ourselves onto a higher path. And, the same circumstances/experiences will continue to resurface over and over again until we do learn the lesson and make the appropriate changes. WOW! I feel like I always knew this, but conveniently denied knowing it. It was in my head only, not where it matters most...in my heart.

One of my favorite quotes from this book nails personal accountability right on the head:

"Woman is buffetted by circumstances so long as she believes herself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when she realizes that she is a creative power, and that she may command the hidden soil and seeds of her being out of which circumstaces grow, she then becomes the rightful master of herself."

So, I'm totally in deep thought about "life's purpose" and deciding how I am going to change my thoughts so I can achieve my life's purpose. Movies, books, discussions....bring it on. I love this stuff!

Childhood Dreams

I found this video on another blog today. I have so much respect for Dr. Randy Pausch who is giving the lecture. The video is 10 minutes long, but so worth every second of your time!



Wasn't that awesome?!?!

Here's what I got from the video:

~ I need to start dreaming like a child again
~ My life needs to be LIVED...every day
~ I have been sooooooooooo incredibly selfish lately. I know this because I've been a lazy ass.

Laziness = selfishness

~ I can't predict the future, what's going to happen in my life, or how much time I have left. Therefore, I need to take action on each moment I have and be grateful for the multitude of opportunities to be a greater person living a more fulfilling life.
~ I need to express GRATITUDE more often....and really mean it via feeling it
~ Daily Affirmations need to be part of my life...I need to visualize my dreams

So, I'm ready to go to work. Instead of just thinking about being a mommy, I need to actively prepare myself physically, emotionally, financially, etc. Instead of thinking about how successful I could be in Mary Kay, I need to work and put in the effort that will reap the rewards. I need to look inward and strengthen who I am. I need to get to know my spiritual side again. It won't surface if I don't invite it and nurture it.

Cheers to moving forward!

Reaching for my Star

I just like posting my goals...makes them more real to me... So, I'm busting my butt to finish my Star for this quarter that ends on Sunday, the 15th. I'm $319.00 away from reaching it, but that doesn't scare me. :) I still have 2 days to get it done!

My goal for the rest of June is to get into car qualifications so I can soon be driving a free car, compliments of Mary Kay. This goal actually leads into my bigger goal, which is to have a consistent and lucrative business that will provide the income and opportunities that Patrick and I need, so we can start a family in the next few months. Yep, I want to have a baby! And I so badly want to have a baby before I turn 30, which is in a little over a year. So I have a lot of work to do...and I'm excited about it. :)

Thoughts

I just wanted to write down some thoughts I'm having...

I watched the morning session of General Conference today (yesterday, technically), and it was a really great session. Thomas S. Monson makes a great president and prophet. :) The two words that stuck with me the strongest from the whole session were by President Monson, "Come back." It resonated and still resonates in my heart and mind.

I love Spring. I love Easter, especially the meaning of the holiday. I'm reminded of the Atonement and how much Christ loves me. It's the time of year when I always feel like starting over, beginning again, resolving to do a little better.

The stagnant feeling I've had for so long is getting old...and stinky. I have so many dreams, hopes, plans, and beliefs about my potential. Why am I choosing to NOT tap into that positive energy and potential?? I need to let go of the burdens and beliefs that are holding me back. I know there is a greater me, not to mention a greater us with Patrick and me. I really don't want to have the pattern of stagnancy become as permanent as it did with the old ex. It becomes comfortable, then uncomfortable, yet a deep pit that is incredibly difficult to escape. With the ex I felt resentful that I had to be the pioneer in foraging our spiritual ground. What I didn't realize, and what I desperately need to remember is that I'm foraging my own spiritual ground. That's what matters most. Patrick will do the same as he is ready, and his readiness is not mine to own. It is solely his. So I guess what I'm saying is that I acknowledge my ownership and accountability for where I stand spiritually...in the past, here in the present, and in the future. No more blaming, no more hiding, no more waiting.

I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me. And I love Him.

New Years Affirmations

Rather than write down New Year Resolutions, I'd like to focus on affirmations instead...

I am a beautiful daughter of God.
I am blessed with many talents and love to share those talents with others.
I am a valued part of my families...in my marriage, my immediate and extended families, and Patrick's family.
I am a healthy and active woman.
I am a dedicated worker.
I make regular efforts to be a more spiritual and kind individual.
I create peace and happiness all around me and especially within myself.
I enjoy all of life's moments, appreciating the lessons life provides for me to learn.