The Lovers

I don't know if I posted about my friend, Jillian, reading my Tarot cards, but I want to write down some of my thoughts from the reading.

It was on July 3rd, two days before Patrick initiated the conversation about the future of our marriage. I was working a double at work that day, and I was so excited for my break between shifts. As I was getting ready to wander for a couple hours, Jillian, a hostess at the restaurant, asked me if I would like her to read my cards during our break. I figured, why not? I'll read my horoscope once in a while for kicks. I have nothing to lose, and I might hear something comforting or insightful. And, it'll be fun and a first for me.

So, we went over to Barnes & Noble, sat at a table at the cafe, and went to town.

It would take too long to describe the layout she uses, every card that was drawn, the story about each card, and the meaning, as well as how it relates to my life, but let me tell you, it was FREAKING AMAZING. (The first card was The Lovers.) Even Jillian, who has done this a LOT, was completely blown away by how direct and applicable all of the cards were to the question I had, which was: What do I do about my marriage?

Here are some of the highlights:

• My inner balance is off and I need to restore it.
• I need to be kind to myself.
• I need to control my anxiety.
• A quiet retreat, sanctuary, or strategic withdrawal, where I can be alone with my thoughts will be very beneficial to me right now.
• I need to quit faking "calm" and show my true feelings.
• Nature is important to me. (the best place for me to find sanctuary)
• The relationship I want is characterized by mutual affinity and union, clear, true, supportive, comforting, with room for passions to grow. There is potential for this in my existing relationship.
• I should not re-enter social activities until satisfied that I have resumed contact with a personal value system.
• I need to withdraw from all distractions.
• I need to stand up for myself.
• Basically, the outcome is up to me, and I need to do what is necessary so I can have a clear mind and make a confident decision.

That same day I wrote down some Action Items for myself:

• Go visit Ken & Paula (my in-laws).
  
• Find my sanctuary in the wilderness near here.
• Follow through with a quiet, intentional withdrawal from all distractions. (NOT in the house - I have to be intentional with having purposeful introspection time.)
  
• Be clear and logical and explain what I want to Patrick.

While I'm not religious about Tarot cards, horoscopes, etc., I do think that sometimes we hear a needed message through a unique medium.

I keep forgetting to focus on the good things I got out of this experience. I still haven't retreated to the wilderness, though I have spent hours in the back yard, reading and watching the wind breathe through the blades of grass.

I keep spending too much time with other people, and not with my own intentional thoughts. I really need to stop doing this. I want to wake up each day, have a plan and a goal, and work productively toward being a better person that day.

So, that's my first experience with tarot cards. Not too shabby. :)

30 in 30

I decided today that I should make a list of 30 important things that I would like to do in my 30th year. I turned 30 on July 14th. So, rather than feeling old, I choose to feel like life is just beginning. I am on the cusp of self-discovery and loving it. :)

The list is up to 18 things right now. It's actually a little bit difficult to come up with 30 things off the top of my head! The list is on the bottom of the sidebar on the right side of my blog. It will stay there for the year. As I work on these things and accomplish them, I will blog about it.

Now, what should I do first???

My kind of day!

I had a fun dirty day today.


After work, I stopped at Western Gardens and bought a bunch of herbs and some flowers. I cleaned up a rusted planter we got at an estate sale last year, painted it with a rust-killing primer, then spray painted it gold. I spent several hours moving the herbs into the little pots that sit all around the planter. (I'll take pictures in the day light.) Then I went to Ace Hardware and got a couple more pots and a habanero pepper plant for Patrick. That'll be fun when that one grows up and starts producing peppers equivalent to hell-fire-and-damnation. :)

So, we now have:

strawberries
cilantro
yellow pear tomatoes
yellow summer squash
rosemary
thyme
thai basil
cinnamon basil
spearmint
peppermint
geraniums
chives
habanero
and another flower plant that I can't remember its name...

I still want to get more plants, but I've decided this is a great start for this year. It will definitely keep me busy watering every day! I guess that's the only down side to having all of the plants in pots. The only one in the ground is the summer squash.

Getting my hands dirty and being outside always makes for a good day. :)

Then I made lentil soup with garlic, onions, jalapeno, bacon, and some spices. It was goooood. The only thing missing was my mom's home made rolls.

Tomorrow I'll be making home made bread. It's been a very long time since I last made bread, so hopefully it goes well. I can't wait to pull fresh bread out of the oven, cut a thick slice, and drench it in butter. That's a piece of heaven right there!

BEFORE & AFTER

I'm finally getting around to posting pictures of my new hair color and trim. I forgot to take an "after" picture at the salon, so I had to wait for a day when I wasn't too lazy to actually do my hair. I'll be honest, the ponytail and I have a sickly codependent relationship. :)

BEFORE (my hair was so greasy!!!)


AFTER (and on my way to work)

I think I'm going to grow out my bangs again. I've enjoyed having them, but I'm not sure if they are quite right for my roundish/squarish face. I like having longer hair, though...I'll keep that for a bit, although I did find a few pictures of me with shorter hair back in August or so in 2006, and good gravy, I was hot! :) My goal this summer is to change my eating habits into healthy habits and exercise consistently. I want to look and feel healthier, which definitely means slimmer!! I've seen blogs where there is a daily picture of what the person is wearing that day. It might be fun to do that for a couple reasons: 1. I'll have to get up and get dressed every day. :) Sadly, I need motivation to end my beauty sleep. 2. I could make a sweet slideshow of my body shrinking. That would make me feel really good to watch. 3. It would be good fun.

Well, onto something more productive...

The Soloist

It's been awhile since Patrick and I went to see a movie in a theater. Well, I'm very excited to go see this one...maybe I'll drag my family out when we're visiting in Arizona in a couple weeks:

Trying a new dew

I'm getting my hair done tomorrow and my stylist always gives me a hard time if I've recently washed my hair. Well normally i wash on thursdays, but i figured i'd get it nice and greasy for her by waiting another day. Gross? Hey, I'm trying to be obedient.:) so to disguise my hamburger head i did the head wrap. I'm not sure if i pulled it off, but it sure was interesting to observe other people's reaction to it. Lots of stares in utah county.:) i can't wait to have a clean head tomorrow! Oh, we called really oily hair hamburger head when i was growing up...you know all the oil left in the pan when you cook ground beef on the stove? Funny, huh?

I want to make this

A yardstick coat rack!

This would look fabulous in our house. :) And it's super easy to make!

Lemonade and Thanksgiving

I haven't posted in awhile, I know. I've been a little preoccupied with posting about my health on a little blog I started up for that specific purpose. It is:

I Make Lemonade

I figured a good name for the website was "When Life Gives Me Lemons..." and the website is "I Make Lemonade." Clever. I know. :)

So, I'm pretty sure I have rheumatoid arthritis, and it sucks. That's been the focal point of my life for the last month. If you have any experience or advice, I'd love to hear about it! I started the blog to journal the physical challenges and growth, as well as the emotional challenges and growth. Turns out, there will be some relationship challenges and growth as well. So, check it out if you want. You might end up thinking I'm a total weenie after reading it, but that's okay. I know I'm a tough girl...I'm just trying to be really honest in my journaling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patrick and I are driving down to Phoenix to spend Thanksgiving with my parents and siblings. I'm excited to see them. We were last down there for Christmas last year. This time of year, I miss the heat sooooo much! We'll be down there from Wednesday through Sunday, then Patrick will drive back to Utah Sunday so he can be back to work on Monday. Monday morning I fly to Denver to help open a new restaurant. I thoroughly enjoy training, so I'm quite excited about this opportunity. I'm hopefully finding a camera soon, so I'll post pictures of the adventures I'll be having over the next 3 weeks. :)

Summit 2008

Saturday I went to my Mary Kay area's Summit Conference in downtown Salt Lake City. I'm glad I went. The recognition part got a little old, but that's mostly because I hadn't eaten breakfast and my head was throbbing. I'm sure if I was one of the people who had worked my butt off and was getting recognized, I would have been super excited to keep clapping and cheering. :) (Just a little perspective there!)

The training part of it was really good. I've always loved training. Deanna Spillman was one of our trainers, and I absolutely love hearing from her. She is so to-the-point about everything, and I love it.

For lunch, my Director, Amy Walker, and I went to Thaifoon to eat. I love eating there on days when I don't work. It's just funny to have my coworkers serve me. :) The food was great. It was Amy's first time there, so it was a good culinary experience.

My favorite part of the whole day was the very end. A Director's 8 year old daughter sang a song for all of us. I can't remember what it was called, but holy cow!! Her voice was beautiful. She was so confident. She was so adorable. She was just amazing. I totally teared up. I can't wait to have my own kids around that age who have talents, personality, and so much to share with the world. It made me think of my own nephews and nieces, two of which are in that age range, and they are so stinkin' smart and talented. I can't wait to see them all in Phoenix for Thanksgiving.

A couple of inspirational points I took to heart from Summit:

*Am I a Victim or a Victor?
This idea was first presented to me months ago by a person I met during the Usana Conference in Salt Lake City. What was to him a business presentation of the company turned out to be a totally philosophical and spiritual conversation about life. It was a conversation I will always cherish and that I think of often when thinking about my own Mary Kay business.

*Be consistent with customer service.
Something I know I need to work on.

*Let go of something, even just ONE thing, that is taking away from time I spend on my business, like tv, internet, etc.

*Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream, Dream!!!!!!

*Set detailed goals.
Vision without action is fantasy.
Action without vision produces drudgery.
Action with viction results in Victory.

*My goals:
1. Red Jacket by end of November 2008
2. Team Leader & On Target for Car by end of January 2009
3. Submit DIQ by end of March 2009
4. Debut as a Director by June 15th 2009

So, that was the highlight of my weekend. Grocery shopping with Patrick was fun, too, but didn't light the fire under my bum like Summit did. :)

Running Shoes!

Alice from I AM NOT FROM YOUR COUNTRY inspired me to pull out my running shoes.


I got these babies at Runners Corner in Orem, UT a couple years ago. I was so impressed with the store, the selection, and the staff. And I really love these shoes. My feet always felt great when I was out running around.

Since it has been about 1 1/2 years since I last put these on, I had forgotten how good they feel. I'm glad they're a little dirty, though, to remind me that yes, I did in fact run at one point in time for a purpose other than playing softball or chasing a jail-bird kitty. As a matter of fact, when I was running, I dropped weight pretty quick and felt fabulous. That was at a point in my life when my ex-husband was telling me all too often how fat and unattractive I was and that he was done being married. Once I realized that the love was gone, I started running as a form of self-medicating therapy. Good hell, endorphins are freaking amazing. I'd get done with a run, whether on the street or on a treadmill, and I'd feel like I could do anything, including kicking his ass for being such a jerk. :) I slimmed down, felt fabulous, and moved onto much better things in life, including my new fabulous husband, Patrick.

So, my shoes are by my bed. I'm going to start getting up early to go for a jog. I'm too out of shape to say that I'd be going for a run with any integrity. :) It will definitely be a jog for now. I need to get back to Slim in 6, too. I really enjoy Debby Siebers and her workout.

So, thank you, Alice, for reminding me of a tool I have been hiding for far too long!!!!

Damn cats

On Friday I got up the courage to pull out my sewing machine so I could turn the Bear and Bunny into stuffed dolls. It went pretty well, though I don't care for the shape of them. I stuffed them and started to stitch up the rest of the Bunny and a knot formed in the thread. After a few minutes of frustration I decided to set it aside for awhile.

A friend of mine came over for an hour, then I had to get ready and go to work...the Bear and Bunny were tucked away next to my sewing machine...

Saturday morning I noticed that the Bear and Bunny were missing!!!! On the floor was the poor Bunny...thread even more tangled, needle still hanging on. But where was the Bear? After looking for a couple minutes, I found him laying face down in the kitties little play tent thing. Those little shits! I grabbed the Bear and to my utter dismay, there are some pretty good claw holes in the fabric and a bit of embroidery floss pulled to the outside of the fabric. It's a good thing I like animals and it breaks my heart when people hurt them, because I seriously wanted to find Lunch (I'd bet a million dollars it was her) and yank out her whiskers or something. Grrr!!!

Several hours later after cooling down, I realized that:
1. I didn't like the shape of the dolls and would change how I did that
2. It was quick and easy to embroider both of them
3. I could pull out the stuffing and replace it with plastic grocery bags which would make a great crinkle sound and give the cats the dolls as new toys.
4. I'll make new dolls
5. The cats are smart little shits, and next time I won't leave the dolls sitting out.



I wish my camera was working so I could post some pictures. Oh well, this picture of NAUGHTY little Lunch will suffice for now.


She kept scooping water out of their water tank/bowl to make bubbles in the tank as it refilled the bowl. There was water every where in the kitchen. So to try to teach her a (unlearned) lesson, I mopped it up with her. (emphasis on unlearned)

BIOPHILIA

...the innate affinity humans have for other living things...



I was reading through my Fitness magazine today and there was an article about how getting outdoors is good for your physical and emotional self. I couldn't agree more! I am so thrilled that Spring is at the door and Summer right behind her!

Just a couple days ago I bought a book of 24 day hikes in the Salt Lake area. I'd love to knock out at least 12 of those this year. I sorely miss hiking and being in the wilderness.

Stats Update

This really is a bit humiliating, and I don't have to put this on my blog, but I am a woman driven by accountability. The last time I documented my weight and measurements I said I was going to do a weekly update of weight, stats, and pictures...yeah...that didn't happen.

I have lost a little bit of weight since then, not intentionally at all, but it is weight lost nonetheless. So, I just want to write it down so I don't dare backtrack back into the heavier side of life. ;)

Here are my June Physical Stats & Goals

My goals were to:

• drop 45 lbs
• lose 40" of body fat
• get my body fat between 18% and 22%
• get my BMI to 24

My Current Measurements as of Today:

Weight 167.4
Waist 39"
Hips 42"
Chest 37.5"
Ribcage 32"
R. Thigh 25.5"
L. Thigh 26"
R. Calf 15.5"
L. Calf 15.25"
R. Bicep 13.5"
L. Bicep 13.5"
Neck 14"
Wrist 6.4"
BMI 30.5
Body Fat 43%

Total inches measured= 280.15

Progress Report on Goals:

• Lost 8 of 45 lbs
• Lost 11.1" of 40" of body fat
• Body Fat% down 6.16%...21% to go to reach 22% Total Body Fat
  
• BMI at 30.5....goal is 24

I'm pretty excited to see my progress! Now imagine if I actually tried to lose some weight...exercising and eating right... :) Sorry, I don't feel like doing a picture just yet...maybe after I shower.

New Pattern/New Project

Today I received in the mail a pattern I bought from PatternMania on Etsy.com.

Here's the picture:

Description:

Design 413 transfers to make an embroidered 63" x 91" Old Fashioned Car Quilt. Each block measures 12" square.

Included:
1908 Chevrolet
1904 Oldsmobile
1904 Studebaker
1912 Packard
1896 Ford
1893 Duryea
1911 Model T
1908 Ford
1904 Ford
1903 Cadillac
1908 Buick
1909 Studebaker

Condition: Very Good, unused.


I'm going to make a quilt for Patrick. I'm super excited to join his ranks as a vintage products lover and consumer. As I complete blocks I'll post pictures. :)

New Years Affirmations

Rather than write down New Year Resolutions, I'd like to focus on affirmations instead...

I am a beautiful daughter of God.
I am blessed with many talents and love to share those talents with others.
I am a valued part of my families...in my marriage, my immediate and extended families, and Patrick's family.
I am a healthy and active woman.
I am a dedicated worker.
I make regular efforts to be a more spiritual and kind individual.
I create peace and happiness all around me and especially within myself.
I enjoy all of life's moments, appreciating the lessons life provides for me to learn.

Back in the Saddle

I'm getting back in the Mary Kay saddle again! I'm starting small and simple, and I hope by the end of 2008 I will be working Mary Kay "full time" anticipating the arrival of a new baby in the family. :) I hope.

Mr. and Mrs. Largin......Shotgun Style :)

Here is my lovely fairy tale...



Once upon a time there lived a lovely couple, Patrick and Alison. They had been engaged for just over 5 months and wedding plans were a topic of frequent discussion. Several ideas were considered, but alas, to their frustration, none were panning out.

A couple days before their planned trip to Phoenix for Christmas, the two lovebirds decided to wed during the trip. First they thought of Mesquite, NV. Alison called the casinos there to see what wedding options there were... The wedding planner at one chain of casinos would be out of town until after the first of the year. The wedding planner at another was helpful, but they didn't have the low-scale options that the couple were looking for. She gave Alison a phone number to call a guy who could marry them at his home. This wasn't an ideal option either. Next, Patrick called places in Laughlin, NV and found similar disappointing results.

That evening after work, Alison was at a coworker's birthday celebration. Several people had heard that the couple was planning to wed the next day, and Alison shared the disappointments in trying to plan a small ceremony. Just then, Carl, another coworker, piped in that he was an ordained minister and would love to perform the ceremony for them! Alison called Patrick and they immediately started planning.

The next evening, Saturday, December 22nd, Patrick and Alison and a small group of close friends went to the Thaifoon restaurant in Salt Lake City and were married by Carl. It was a beautiful and simple ceremony, and a first for the restaurant! :) Here are some pictures of the ceremony:


Alison and Patrick waiting for the elevator at The Gateway.


Patrick, Carl, and Alison at the very beginning of the ceremony.



Just married!!! Our first kiss as husband and wife. :)


Just before our celebratory toast. :) What a cute couple!


Our wedding cake. Shay and Tia got them for us...with such short notice they had to split "Congratulations Alison + Patrick" onto two cakes. :)


We couldn't be happier to finally be married! We're excited about going into 2008 united in marriage and living a life full of blessings and love. Thanks to everyone, especially Carl, who helped us pull this together. We are blessed with so many wonderful people in our lives.

The End

***UPDATE 1/9/08***
I didn't realize that "Shotgun Wedding" implies that the bride is pregnant. :) No, I am not pregnant. It was a quick elope-style wedding rather than a Shotgun wedding. Hopefully babies are in the near future, though!!!

Seriously

Why do relationships have to be so difficult? I know "The Secret" would say that I am bringing this on myself by focusing my energy on the difficult side of relationships. I partly agree. And the other side of me thinks that even if I focused on how "perfectly" everything is going, I'd still be dealing with the same old aggravating shit. I really have no idea if I will be married this year. At this point, I almost don't care. I'm back at the stage of "waiting a little longer to make sure it's absolutely what we want to do." I know I'm a pain in the ass, and so is every man out there... it's all about patience, love, and compromise. Ugh...rock and hard spot. With a soft squishy warm cuddly heart in there too...I wouldn't be here if that wasn't part of the equation. Duh.

P.S.

The reason we're waiting for snow is that it'll be much prettier than the dead fall setting. :)

Let it Snow!!!

AAAAgggghhhhhh!!!! It's snowing!!!!!! :) Patrick and I were waiting for the snow to get married! :) I'm so excited. We're going to go shopping for a vintage dress and we're getting our marriage license tomorrow. :) (All smileys here...) :) I am so freaking excited to be married to Patrick!!!!!!